8 Indoor Activities for Wheelchair bound Elderlies

8 Wholesome Indoor Activities for Seniors on Wheelchairs

During our weekly date with my parents, I would usually bring them the park for Vitamin D sunlight, shopping or meals at random restaurants.

Since I become a trainer 2 years ago, I make an effort to plan engaging wholesome activities for my parents. I try to include activities which stretch their brain cells and practice their fine motor skills while we spend quality time together.

Both of my aging parents require wheelchair to move around, hence the activities selected have to take this in consideration.

I find that it is easier to plan indoor activities for mum as there are more varieties of sit-down activities for females. Ladies can do flower arrangement, sewing, origami, beading, cake decoration, art and crafts... The list goes on... but there are limited tools for our elderly men. This is especially obvious when they are not highly educated. Sudoku, crossword puzzles or learning a new musical instrument would be tougher for them.

For my father, I chose items which are not kiddish, feminine or western; so he would feel comfortable using them. The following are some of the suitable tools which keeps my retiree dad occupied at home. They prevents dementia or degenerative aging. Some of these games are fitting for elderly ladies too!


1. Memory Game

A very simple memory game to play with old folks.
 

I bought it from a push cart.

2. 3D Model Building

Building a cool Jeep gives my dad a great sense of accomplishment.
Planes, tanks and architecture models are available as well. Very affordable.

We intend to paint it together one of these days.

 

3. Tangoes Game

Dad gets creative as he think of ways to form the shapes with limited pieces given.
Solutions are provided in this booklet.

This game set is suitable for the elderly as it is thick enough for adults to hold and
magnetic features to prevent the Tangoes from dropping. Brilliant for long-distance travelling.

This game can be played when the senior is alone.

4. Wooden Block Puzzles

The pieces are labelled with numbers.

5. Building Game

Plastic construction toys that joined by magnets.
Fun way to get the mind and hands working!

6. Coloring

Retro-themed coloring activity book "My Kueh Lapis". 

7. Calligraphy

Dad practicing Chinese calligraphy using papers that can be reused.

I intend to introduce western calligraphy to him.

8. Mahjong

All time favorite social strategy game!
My mother-in-law plays Mahjong with her siblings weekly.

There are definitely many more ways to maintain an active healthy lifestyle, feel free to share additional senior activities ideas to me. 😊

Carnivore Women

I was back to MediaCorp to share my views on Carnivore women 肉食女 yesterday morning.

Carnivore women 肉食女 is a term coined to ladies born after 1980 who are diligent, goal-getters,  with successful careers. It originated from Japan. They adopt the work hard and play hard mentality and dislike wasting time. When Carnivore women are attracted to a guy, they boldly give chase.

With 2 bright and bubbly hosts of Channel 8's Good Morning Singapore.

Although Carnivore women are highly sought after by head-hunters, they are shunned socially, especially by men.

My casual collection of opinions from both gender  revealed Carnivore women are viewed as egoistic, outspoken, demanding, controlling and tough to get along. Some of interviewees would prefer to stay away from them, so as not to step on their tails lest risk getting in trouble with these Tigresses. I feel for Carnivore women as the flipside of standing out is being isolated and left alone.

One lady called the program hotline and commented "nothing wrong with being Carnivore women". There is nothing wrong with being smart and successful. In fact, I respect Carnivore women’s guts, brains and drive. Emotionally, they are just as human and vulnerable as anyone.

Possible reasons why ladies become Carnivore:

1. As our city gets more and more competitive, these ladies feel insecure and push themselves to excel so as to survive in their jobs. As such, they become very tense and determined to succeed.
2. Their parents favour sons than daughters; hence these girls seek achievements in school and workplace to prove their parents wrong.
3. They had been sexually discriminated before at their workplace, so they strive harder to validate their worth.
4. They are born with high ability and pride themselves as being successful since school days. They have not lost before and cannot bear to face losing. They feel the pressure to be on par or better than their contemporaries.

Due to their character or background, Carnivore women give themselves a lot of expectations and unnecessary pressures. It is not easy to be who they are. I hope that people will see them as someone who needs love and friends as well.

Dating Tips for Men who are interested in Carnivore women

Be confident of yourself, some of these ladies seems intimidating but are wise, reasonable and kind at heart. These ladies are looking for a relationship, not to EAT you up!

Ladies love men with humour, wit and conversational skills. Brush up on these areas and social skills as well.

How Carnivorous are ladies in Singapore?

In Singapore, most of the high achiever ladies are not full-fledged Carnivores. They might be aggressive in their career, but in dating, they are still very traditional and passive – they expect men to make the first move and earn more than them.

Some of these ladies dress very sexily, yet they put up an unapproachable front. Guys are confused with the mixed signals these girls project. They wonder if they should approach these ladies.

I feel that Singapore ladies have Carnivore tendencies but "Omnivore" at heart. As Singaporeans, we are less extreme compared to other nationalities. We would prefer to adopt a more moderate position socially.

Can Carnivore women become herbivore?

Yes. A wise woman knows the suitable hat to wear for different situation. I have seen high-fliers career women who act like a tigress at workplace, but become an adorable kitten in front of their hubby. They know when to affirm, pamper and be coy to him.

Should Carnivore women focus on dating Herbivore men?

Carnivore women + Herbivore men – this formula compliments both party. It works well when both could accept each other's strength and weaknesses. Another caller asked if Carnivore ladies could accept a house husband. If the husband is better at housekeeping and wife is better at her job, it is practical to let the wife continue to shine in her career. Whatever works for you and your spouse to maintain your nest. This should also not seem strange as developed societies continue to narrow gender inequality.

4 Dating Tips for Carnivore women

Expectations
Remove unrealistic expectations that have been placed on yourself. Forget about peer, society or family pressures in the evolving society of great freedom and decreasing gender barriers. Find out what your heart needs in a relationship. Would you prefer to be with a gentleman who makes you smile? Or a bore that earns more than you?

Relax
Being approachable, open-minded, polite and easy-going are desirable traits. Learn to relax, enjoy the date and let the connections flow naturally. On first few meeting, do not interrogate guys for their background or assets.

Subtlety
It is perfectly alright to initiate and ask a guy that you like out for a date. Avoid being too direct to express your desire or too eager to "seal the deal". Be patient and prudent to get to know each other first. You are finding a partner not a pair of shoes at the department store.

Balance
Embrace the truth that the outlook and attitude which works for your career does not work for relationship. Learn to compromise and be a caring, gracious and supportive lover. Activities like knitting and belly-dancing could bring out the gentle sensual side of you. Being able to achieve a balance in personality behaviour will help you to integrate better with others and that special person you are looking to spend the rest of your life with.

Herbivore Men

It was my honour to be invited to the mandarin morning talk show 早安你好 at MediaCorp again. This time, we spoke about 草食男, Herbivore men or grass-eating men. Here is the content that I've prepared for the show:

草食男 is a term to describe a group of urban young men (age 30 and below) who are fashionable, well-groomed and neat. They are gentle, polite, prudent, image and health conscious. Besides being nice, educated and attuned to emotional needs, they treasure their personal time and love to spend it with their loved ones, hobbies and grooming. They will not hesitate to get a gym membership but turn passive when it comes to relationship and career.


Causes of  "Herbivore men" in Singapore
Usually Herbivore men stay with their self-sufficient parents, and need not strive for survival. Like tigers in the zoo, these men grew up in a well-fed and protected environment. Hence they lost their hunting skills, aggressiveness and motivation to expand their territory.

Caged creatures could not activate their prowess.

Herbivore men are comfortable and contented with their current state of life. In Singapore, due to high cost of apartments, inflation and tougher competition for jobs, these men become more careful when making long term financial commitments. Herbivore men are not used to risks and thus, more cautious to take up challenges.

I have spoken to many local bachelors who fit the description of Herbivore men. But they are not totally adverse to relationship, marriage or having their own kids. As new-age sensitive guys, they recognize the need to have a life-partner, the importance of family and the joy of having children. Deep down, they sincerely wish to get married eventually. However they may not ready to face the uncertainties and burdens of marriage.


Do Herbivore men make a good life partner?
Yes. They make a good husband as they respect women, willing to listen and value family time. They are excellent shopping, cooking and travel companion.


4 As for ladies who are interested to date a Herbivore man:

Approachable
Be friendly, pro-active yet not forceful. Feel free to initiate and ask him out based on activities that he is interested in. Eg: shopping at a new boutique. During the show, 2 concerned mothers of Herbivore men called to encourage ladies to approach these passive men. Even mothers support this idea!

Appearance
Since he is mindful of his own image, it is only logical that he wants to be with a presentable lady. Being spiffy will leave him a good impression plus wanting to date you more!

Acceptance
Accept his lifestyle, spending habits and career choice. Adjust your expectations when you love a Herbivore man. If both of you are working and planning to wed, be ready to support the house, wedding and family expenses together. He will appreciate your understanding. Being too princessy, materialistic or demanding will not make anyone a good life partner.

Assurance
Be patient, supportive and encouraging. Give him the courage to take the new responsibilities in life confidently. Avoid criticizing or comparing him with other men. Be a committed partner who can wave the storms and smell the roses with him. Once he has the confidence in you, he will consider asking you to be spend the rest of his life with you!   

I will share about Carnivore women next week.

WowHer

7 Ways to Wow-Her

Besides flowers, jewelries and candlelight dinner, are there better ways to show our affection to our beloved girl? Here are 7 suggestions to make her feel loved, treasured and special.

Entertainment

Laugh together, not at her. Do not insult her intelligence, size or abilities, especially in front of others.

Enthusiasm

Be excited about her passion, her interest and her joys.

Empathy

When she shares her feelings; listen and empathize with her. Hug her when she needs to be comforted. Avoid interrupting her to provide solutions until she is receptive and ask you for it.

Exclusivity

Give her the respect as your partner. Treat her better than the others. Protect her from being hurt by others.

Effort

For couples that stay together, do put in the effort to clean up the mess and help out in household chores before she request you to do so.

Excuses

Stop giving excuses, be sincere to admit mistakes and apologize.

Ego

Since she loves you, she will hope the best for you. Consider her suggestions to improve without being defensive. Why let ego prevent you from being a better person and having a deeper relationship?

Hope these 7 E-tips will make your lover glow with love for you and empower your relationship. 

Happy Chinese Valentines Day!

Too shallow to learn?

Are Singapore men shallow and arrogant?
Recently, actress Felicia Chin remarked that Singapore men are shallow and arrogant. Not all the local men I've met are such. I have come across many fun, gentlemenly and wise Singaporean men. However, I can understand why she said so.

1. Many ladies (both foreigners and local) have feedback to me that some local men lack conversation skill. In social setting, everyone is expected to socialise. But these men couldn't engage. It could be due to the following reasons:

• Limited conversation topics. They hardly read, unaware of current affairs. Thus they are short of content to keep the conversation alive.
• Low confidence and unable to express themselves well.
• When others try to get the conversation rolling, they are not keen to take part or do not know how to response. They are only interested to talk about subjects that they are keen in or talk to pretty girls. But without good conversational social skills, pretty girls will not go on date with them.
• Upbringing and environment. No good role model to learn social skills from.

2. I've heard local men who claimed that their ex-girlfriends dumped them as their earning power is lower than her expectations. But some of these ex-girlfriends explained that the break up was due to other reasons like clashing character, lack of understanding and communication, his passiveness, his bad temper and his unwilling to compromise. Instead of enquiring, reflecting and learning from the break-up, these shallow and arrogant men push the blame to their ex-girlfriends for being materialistic.

3. When shallow, low self-esteem men meet women are more outspoken, qualified, confident, outstanding and successful than them, they feel intimidated. Before getting to know these ladies, they labelled these ladies as high maintenance, demanding or unapproachable. They will not consider dating these women, and would prefer to date women who need them more, ie: women who are  financially or politically dependent on them to stay in the country. It made me wonder why these men go into relationship? Is it to have someone whom he can relate to and support each other emotionally? Is it for love? Or is it fill their void of self-worth? What kind of women will go for him? How is he going to manage if she becomes more successful than him eventually?

Singapore men are kind, down-to-earth and honest, I value these qualities in them. I’m writing this not to put local men down; but to give them hope and encourage them to better themselves. When there's a will, there's a way. My main concern here: Are local men willing to learn? Are they willing to be a better man?

There are many simple ways our local men could improve, eg: keeping updates on current affairs, reading up, getting a personal life coach and attending courses on communication with opposite gender and social skills. These will empower Singapore men to be more attractive, confident and connect with ladies well! I hope local men will become popular for desirable reasons.

Wedding

This gentle, kind and loving couple got together through Clique Wise social events on Feb 2010. 2 years later, they are happily married. I am glad to witness how their love blossoms! Thank God!

I have attended weddings of couples who have met through our events. I noticed that they have these characteristics:

• Easy-going, not calculative
• Gracious, polite, friendly
• Humble
• Positive, open to meet people
• Proactive

Their love story was featured in RazorTV as well.
Hope their joyful union inspires all to find bliss!

Mum upset over school haircut for son

Rules and regulations in education institutions teach the kids how to respect authority and boundaries. Every school has their rules and regulations to maintain. They have the right to exercise disciplinary actions when their students broke the rules.

When my nephew received a FREE haircut from his discipline master, we had a good laugh with him. We supported the school's initiative to teach him how a self-respecting student should look like. This is basic image grooming.

If the parents find the rules unreasonable or unfairly practised in school, they could feedback to the school or MOE. Why did Madam Yeo (from the article) have to call the police?

The article mentioned that kid was traumatised over haircut. I understand that teenagers are conscious of their image. A wise parent will teach their children to manage their emotions, manage stituations in a real world and manage expectations from society. If parents get over protective, how is he going to endure army? How is he going to face rejection or failure in future? Is he suppose to call the police whenever he feels upset?

When parents over-shelter their kids, I wonder how children could grow in discipline, strength or independence. Males who are raised from such protective environment probably end up lacking in confidence, initiative and leadership qualities.

Mummy will always love her boy. But will other ladies find him attractive? I'm afraid not...

Mothers, the future of your child is in your hand. Please nurture men, not boys!

Christmas Gift Ideas For Men

1. Games
Board games, drinking games, console games; or even a treat to a game of archery is fun!

2. Gadgets
If hand phones or flat screen TV is beyond your budget/relationship with him. Consider accessories for his toys... It could be a pair of speakers, iPad sleeves or car pillows. These will spice up his high-tech experience.

3. Watches
The most popular accessory for males.

4. Leathers
High quality wallet/brief case/ shoes/ belts make a practical, presentable and professional gift for him.

5. Tees
Every man owns at least one Tee-shirt, a quality sports tees does not show sweat stains and dry fast. Dry fast sports tees are especially essential for the sporty men or men who live in tropics like Singapore.

Hope these ideas help you to choose the most appropriate, useful and impressive presents.

Happy Christmas Shopping!

Winning the Age Old Game of Love

Winning the Age Old Game of Love
This article written by Lydia Gan was featured in Romancing Singapore Website in 2007

So… the eyes met, conversation was good, the mood was set and the feeling has been mutual. You exchanged contact numbers and then? What’s next? If you don’t have a game plan, it may be doomed before it ever gets started.

Fortunately or unfortunately, you are not the only one. We set the scene for you, step by step to win this age old game of love!

Planning for the First Date

Arrange the date few days in advance, avoid last minute request as this increases the possibility of your date turning you down. Rejection does affect your confidence to ask him or her out again. Besides you do not want to be seen as THAT desperate.

Choose a day that you are least stressed up, so if Monday is loonly – leave the “Mondays” OUT. Have enough rest for the day – or risk looking haggard in front of your date. Go on the date feeling your best and being your best.

Give 100% of your attention to your date. Show genuine interest, listen and get to know about each other. Relationship is about communication, dating is not about “what you know” and “what you can do” or “how much you have” bRAg-a-tHOn. Give your date the due attention. Leave your blackberry alone for a while and a little human attention might just go a long way.

Last but not least, plan with your date’s comfort in mind, appropriate setting and date movies to watch. If you think that she/he might not enjoy the setting – most likely the chances are that you are right. A little asking will do a world of charm.

Maximize Your Appearance

How many of you heard the saying “beauty lies in the eye of the beholder?” – well that is a excuse to be lazy. You know that the first impression counts, I know that it matters so here at Wow-Her.Com we state our belief that L-O-O-K-S DOES MATTER. We speak the truth.

Suppose you saw an unkempt date that turns up wearing shoddy outfit looking like a refugee from some lost world at a posh restaurant dinner. Chances are that you will discreetly leave him to find his direction home – alone.

Face it, if you do not respect your date – then don’t be hurt by their action to leave you to your due desserts.

Give credit to your looks and dress up! In doing so it does shows respect to your date and to the occasion. Dress right and appropriately on the date, if you are going for a theme “PJ” party with your date then by ALL MEANS. Dress in your boxes – Point is; dress right. Enough said. Please get the drift as there is so much we can repeat.

On the other hand, to some of our readers, don’t wear your black power suit on the first date… very overpowering if the date is set in a causal setting like a hawker center. What if the Kopi-auntie laughs at your dressing efforts? It would be a very sad case right. Not to mentioned that your date would be present.

The last thing you want to remind your date is work; who wants to know how much paper work you need to fill up and how important you are? If you are sincere and genuinely likes your date, you want her/him to get to know you better as a person and not what you do, but who you are. (*Remember that)

So take off that coat and reveal some friendly colours or styles. This will set your date in for the romantic mode.

Colours play an important factor in expressing yourself. Some people look bright and cheerful in lime green, while others might look like a glowing string bean. Wear colours that bring out the best of your skin tone, to appear friendlier and warm.

Select clothing styles that are right for you base on your body type. Camouflage the flaws and play up your best body features. Get an image consultant to help you find your best colours, fits and styles. (*for the clueless – this helps, trust us)

Mindset

It is only natural to be nervous, and to prevent yourself from yakking in fear, calm yourself down, remove the nervous vibes by having a happy song playing at the back of your mind. *Remember -- It is better to speak clearer and slower than mumble.

Adopt a “Seriously, don’t be too serious” attitude. Keep the date light and fun, happy vibes are infectious, keep laughter and smiles always and remember to keep the admiration and respect in place. After all you want your date to remember you for the good times you had together! *Note to Type-A personalities; NO ONE propose or wants to marry a date on a first date; try your best to keep it to the 10th date.

Dating is about knowing more about the other party, what they like and how they feel about things. It is also discovering your own preference. The more you date, the clearer you have in mind who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

For the end result of finding love, all the effort put forth is well worth it! Happy dating!