24 December 2012

Christmas Greetings

My Warmest Christmas wishes to you and your family!
May this Christmas be bright and the New Year begin with joy and prosperity!

14 December 2012

Sichuan Hot Pot

This Decemeber was a cold one for me, I was sneezing until a sweet lady suggested to wear socks to bed. Socks keep my feet warm throughout the night and works very well for me. 

Besides wearing socks, boyfriend has been setting up steamboat dates to prevent me from catching a chill. This is one of interesting restaurant which provides 3 types of soup within a pot. Customers can chose between single, duel or triple soup base pot. And the best is variety! From appetizers, seafood, meat, vegetables, there are 80 items on their steamboat buffet menu!

Shu Nince Sichuan Steamboat 新一蜀九香四川麻辣火鍋
Address: 25 Teck Chye Terrace, Singapore 545728 (shophouse along Teck Chye Food Street)

Tri-steam boat party
1. Mala (Spicy) soup base –   Peppery and flavorful. Especially matching for luncheon meat, enoki sprouts and beef! 

2. Herbal Soup –  For those who prefers a healthier choice without the tears and numbness.

3. Condiments –  Variety of sauces to dip in. We love the sesame peanut sauce, ultra creamy, rich and fragrant. I mix this sauce with the cold noodles too.

8 out of 10

Cleanliness: 8 out of 10

Clean, neat environment. Good variety of items to chose from. They have Potong ice-cream as desserts too.
The stove is running from piped gas, the heat can be volcano hot! Be careful not to leave the scoops in the pot for long. My boyfriend scaled his fingers! The clams can be more fresh. Laksa soup base is too thin to my liking. 
Limited public parking lots along the street in front of the restaurant. Valet parking available.

29 November 2012

Beef Horfun

I was running a party at Beach road and discovered this gem by chance. I was  drawn into the restaurant by the warm simple ambience and friendly elderly servers. The food was too tempting, I only remembered to take 1 photo. Hehee

Prince Coffee House serves local fare like horfun and western food like steaks too.

Prince Coffee House Pte Ltd
Address: 249 Beach Road, Singapore 189757 (shophouse)

1. Beef Horfun –   Smooth and tender. Beef was well-cooked with love.

2. French Onion Soup –  Flavorful. Sorry I didn't take any photo for this as it was too tempting, I finished it before I recall the importance to photograph.

This Christmas, we could order Roast Turkey ($18 per kg), baked Cauliflower, Apple pie and Yam cake from them too.

Ambience: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: 9 out of 10

Clean, neat environment.
Parking lots available along the streets and hotel opposite.

27 November 2012

Fake or Real Personality?

Recently I have been interviewed by a magazine for tips to avoid jerks/fakes online. I offered the advice but felt more have to be touched on this topic...

What to do when you are approached by a stranger online and he/she sounds sincere, fun and friendly. Usual thing to do is an internet search on the person, access if the information given is authentic.

Before the internet era, we probably need to hire a private investigator or break into someone’s house to find compromising photos. Now people like to upload photos and information on social media. Making a person’s background more accessible. We get to know more about a person and his activities that he may have already forgotten. But do we really know them base on these scraps of content?

You might see this person a witty gentlemen while chatting on the net, but you also discover photos of him cross dressing as a mermaid in suggestive poses. But it does not necessarily mean that he has dual or conflicting personality. It will be too rash to block him immediately.

How many of us have done crazy harmless acts during a party or celebration; especially after some alcohol, but it does not reflect our usual personality. Does it mean we are bad? Should we be rejected because of these?

I have come across people who put offensive images on their social media account, speak like a gangster on the forums, but mummy’s boy at home.

Many of you are familiar with the boss who speaks like an angel to her husband over phone, but yells like a devil over the trivial stuffs in the office. If we could wear a different mask for different environment, then it is only logical that our online persona could be slightly different from our real personality.

Online offers an avenue for people to express themselves what they wish they could be in real life. The artificiality of non face to face communication offers confidence for some people to express a part of themselves not normally possible while for others, it is an easier platform to lie and exaggerate. In life, pessimistic as it may sound, the general rule is if something is too good to be true, chances are it is not.

Real life is not like a romantic commedy. As with interactions with an unfamiliar person, taking things with a pinch of salt is generally prudent.  It is important to remember online communications are after all a convenient but incomplete substitute for real direct human communication.

Taking time to know a person is important. With extended sessions of correspondence the person’s true nature will reveal itself.  It often takes more effort to tell consistent lies than to tell the truth.

If you had chatting with this person online for long period of time, feels safe to develop the friendship further. Suggest a meet up at a public place for lunch or coffee. Communication is multi-dimension and requires multi-senses. We could only know people better through face to face interaction. Nothing beats the real thing. With time and observation of how he/she interact with others, we could access if he/she is suitable, more effectively.

11 November 2012


In our efforts to eat healthy, my boyfriend suggested fruits for supper. He brought me to this place. And I love his idea! Definately a better experience than the street durian I usually had.

Charming Toa Payoh

What impresses me about this durian shop:
~ Ample space around.
~ No sleazy brothels or hotels nearby.
~ Away from noisy dusty roads.

Sin Yee Wang Durian
Address: Blk 211 Lor 8 Toa Payoh #01-21, Toa Payoh, Singapore 310211 (HDB shop)


1. Cat's mountain durian - about $15 for every kilogram. Boyfriend paid about $30 for one. 1 fruit is more than enough for 2 person to share.

2. Coconuts - Refreshing combination with the king of fruit!

Ambience: 6 out of 10

Cleanliness: 7 out of 10

Fruits galore

Besides durians, they have a wide selection of fruits like red flesh dragon fruit too.
Outdoor seating with a pail of water for washing hands by the drain.
Open air public carpark besides the block.

31 October 2012


Lego has been my wished-for toy since young. Yap it is Lego, not barbie or 家家酒. I enjoyed Lego tremendously as it provides the freedom to create and build whatever comes to my mind. Coincidentally, it is also my boyfriend's favorite toy. When Legoland was launched, we jumped with joy! We bought 2 tickets through Groupon and visited our dreamland yesterday.

About 5 min walk from main road to the entrance.
A lot of walking required, do wear comfy shoes, sun block and hat.
This theme park is packed with innocent fun, interactive games and creative activities!
Variety of Lego bricks and parts sold here based on weight. Yes to more creativity!
Tables of Lego bricks in almost every corner of the park for us to play. 

Lego Chess set sold at the store, my ideal Christmas gift!
Happy Halloween!

Excited to see my beloved toy in human size!
A toy train! And we get to ride in it! Wohoo!
A guy picking up a lady in red, anything can happen in Miniland!
Gangnam Dance at Legoland.
Driving school. Too bad we are unable to join... Only for 6-13 years old.
Here, we could test our Lego construction if it could withstand earth quake.
My duck car and boyfriend's Kiasu truck. He likes it ultra long...
Drive a giant toy boat!
Spin and be shot!
After the wild rides, you may get this at the Minimart to curb the giddiness and nausea.
Tods get high! Vertical rides for kids.
Behind this wall is the activity that got both of us crazy!
We get to aim, shoot and compare scores!
Tikum Tikum!
About RM 6 per game. RM 10 for 2 games.
We had good fun at Legoland. It reminds us the joy of  playing. It is only 15min away from the Johor custom. Excellent for couples and family bonding. The restaurants accept Singapre dollars too, very convenient for Singaporeans (about RM 20 per meal each). Hope to visit it again real soon! 

23 October 2012

Prawn Noodles & Rojak

This is the 2nd time I visited this local restaurant. Excited to be here. I shall be back again!
Geylang Prawn Noodles
Address: 325 Upper Paya Lebar Road, Singapore 534946 (shophouse)
Other branches:
Blk 682 Hougang Street 61 Singapore 530682 (inside Coffee Express)
Prawn Noodles, Dried and Soup Version
1. Dried Prawn Noodles –  Sweet tasty soup, not too prawny. They serve yellow thick noodles, kway teow or beehoon. I prefer to mix yellow noodles together with beehoon. You get to chose between pig's tail, pork ribs or just prawns alone.
2. Rojak –  Fresh ingredients was used to make variety of Wu-xiang, po-pia and prawn biscuits. Crunchy crispy good!
Crispy Chinese Rojak

Ambience: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: 9 out of 10

Clean, neat environment with wooden interiors.
Parking lots available in front of the restaurant at Upper Paya Lebar Branch.
Open air public carpark besides Block 682.

11 October 2012

Perk Myself Up

What do you do when you are stressed, listless or upset?

Everyone has different preference to deal with their issues. Some likes to shop, some likes to get drunk, while some likes to pull a prank on others. Shopping is therapeutic but can be draining to our finances. Being drunk might get us into trouble. Pranks might cost us retribution and relations.

There are many activities that we can do to make ourselves feel fabulous. But we want the fun without damaging our purse or reputation.

I encourage you to draw up your own "Pamper Myself" list. Brainstorm 20 healthy activities you have done in the past which made you feel awesome.

My "Love Lydia" list:
1. Taking a bath
2. Going on nature walks
3. Meeting new friends
4. Re-arranging my room
5. Hearing an inspiring speech
6. Pleasing my parents
7. Watching a comedy
8. Playing board games
9. Singing
10. Gardening
11. Wearing smart clothes
12. Seeing good things happen
to my family or friends
13. Talking about Philosophy
14. Drinking hot ginger tea
15. Complimenting someone
16. Preparing a new dish
17. Swimming
18. Getting massage
19. Spending time with my loved one
20. Listening to relaxing music

You will be surprised that most joys are pretty simple to execute, inexpensive and wholesome!

This list is an incredible way to remind ourselves the varieties we have whenever we need a recharge! This "Love Lydia" list also acts as my saviour. It distracts me from binging on my favourite potato chips. Oh… how addictive these Wasabi flavoured potato chips are! I could chomp down 3 packets at one go! Imagine the guilt aftermath. :S

I saved this useful list in my handphone and refer it whenever I feel the need to indulge. You might prefer to write it down in a card and keep it in our wallet or paste it in front of your desk. Whatever is more effective for you. Happy Pampering!

5 October 2012


WKBT anchor Jennifer Livingston took a moment during 2nd Oct 2012's morning newscast to address a recent insensitive email from a viewer complaining about her physical size.

"To the person who wrote me that letter — do you think I don't know that? That your cruel words are pointing out something that I don't see?" Livingston asked in response. "You don't know me. You are not a friend of mine. You are not a part of my family. And you have admitted that you don't watch this show. So you know nothing about me but what you see on the outside. And I am much more than a number on the scale." She said, the hurt still raw in her voice.

I am so glad that she confronted the person who made critical, hurtful and stereotypical remarks.

Jennifer is a news caster, not a porn star. Why must she be slim? What is wrong with her size? Does being slim definitely equate being presentable? What has she done to make her a bad role model for young girls? Why can't women in media be appreciated for being kind, courageous and wise?

It is easy to pass sarcastic remarks to put others down. But victims have to take time, emotions and energy to recover from the scars. Some never get to recover as proper support is not rendered. Without healing, they might become defensive, dejected or detached. I wish people will be more mindful of the effects of their words.

I have friends who eat normal healthy portion per meal and exercise regularly, but they are still size XL. Due to career, family commitment and health reasons, it is not practical for them to go for extreme dieting. It would be unfair to judge them as being lazy due to their build.

If you want the best for someone you cared about, understand them before we give them comments. If certain areas can be improved, motivate them with grace. This is how we could treat people with care and respect. Saw this comment on Facebook and I so agree with what the author Jason said: Be a buddy not bully.

October is Anti-Bully month, let's spread this message to encourage words of kindness, acceptance and wisdom.

16 September 2012


You are commanded by your boss to attend an industry networking party. You reached the party and did not find any familiar faces. Everyone is talking among themselves and you don’t know what to do to get to know new friends. You stand at one corner, feeling lonely, shy and clueless. How to network?

Your best friend invited you to be the emcee for his church wedding. You could not turn down his offer and wonder what to say to the wedding guests. You searched for ideas online and find the information irrelevant to Singapore’s context. You wrote a simple speech but somehow you started having butterflies in your stomach. You are afraid to mess up your best friend’s wedding. Panic! You wish there was a software you can buy, a button that you can press, to download your prepared speech into your brain and play when you wish to present it like Obama. You worried. How to host a wedding speech?

Whether it is networking or public oration, it is all about good communication. What is an interesting conversation? What is eloquent public speaking? What constitute effective communication? Based on my experience as an event faciliator and trainer, let me share with you what I’ve learnt in 3 points:

1. Organized
As we speak, we are presenting our thoughts, ideas and feelings. That is actually a lot of content for the audience to digest. Make it easy for them with an organized flow of information, from introduction of character, story, ending and conclusion. This will make it is simpler for the audience to comprehend the content. With appropriate usage of the English language, vocal projection, diction, body movement and pace between words, the quality of the speech is enhanced.

2. Engaging
Speaking is about connecting with our audience. Before we can achieve this, we have to get the audience’s attention first. Hence it is important we make the speech entertaining, enticing and palatable. It’s just like a chef putting extra effort to add garnish on the food, presenting it in the most delicious way so that people will buy his food.

Engaging speech comes in many forms. Besides laughter-inducing jokes, engaging speech can be in the form of sob sob melodrama or brilliant household tips that makes our lives easier. We make the speech entertaining to get audience’s attention, get them thinking and get responses! Key is to generate interest, illicit desired reaction and achieve our purpose. Which bring us to the last point Purpose.

Short yet effective speech to empower

3. Purpose
It is essential to attach a purpose to our speaking, so as to make the communication meaningful. There are many reasons why we speak. It could be about getting to know your date, sharing our life story to our little nephew, or telling our colleagues benefits of drinking alkaline water. We have to speak with a clear objective in mind. When we speak clearly, audience understands our message clearly. We could build relationships, expand our influence and inspire others.

Now you know the basics of good speaking, you realised good communication is achievable! Are you interested to see more live examples of eloquent speeches? Are you keen to practice your speeches and perfect your speaking skills? Do you want to be able to articulate on current affairs smoothly?

Good news is at toastmasters clubs you could! There are many Toastmasters club in Singapore. Personally I have benefitted greatly from it. Toastmasters have well-rounded course structure, conducive environment and encouraging members to motivate you to achieve this. You could also  sharpen your communication skills at your own comfortable pace. It is very affordable, eg: S$72 per term at Braddell Heights Toatsmasters Club.

With exposure, practice and support of your coach, you could make small talk in social events confidently, persuade your clients eloquently and present a speech on your best friend’s wedding elegantly. Let’s enjoy good communication skills together!

8 September 2012


After pushing mum (in wheelchair) around for an hour, all I want is to rest and reward myself. Traditional chinese comfort food is the answer...

Curry Chicken with rice

Heng Heng Curry Café (兴兴)

Address: 6 Raffles Boulevard #02-201 Marina Square Singapore 039594 (near Esplanade MRT)

Other branches:
1 Woodland Square #B1-19 Causeway Point Shopping Center Singapore 738099 (near Woodlands MRT)
Opening Hours: 11.30am- 9.45pm

1. Curry Laksa – Thick Tangy Sauce. Every mouthful is a burst of Lemongrass. Ooooo... uber like! Very different from the usual we had in Hawker Centers.
2. Stewed Pork Rice –  Greatly braised, highly flavoured and deeply loved!

Authenic chinese dish, well done!

Ambience: 9 out of 10

Cleanliness: 9 out of 10

The place to refuel after shopping or movie at Marina Square. Well-lit, cosy and spacious restaurant which presented local food elegantly. Friendly helpful staffs too!

2 September 2012

Anniversary party

About 150 turned up at Clique Wise's 6th Anniversary Party on 31 Aug 2012. Thank God!
It was an awesome networking party with healthy gender ration balance.
We are sorry to turn down the people who sign up last minute due to space constraint.
At this rate that we are growing, we will have to get a bigger venue for our next birthday party.
Celebrating this happy, exciting and fun occassion with us!
At the party venue located in Orchard.
To all our guests, supporters and well-wishers, thank you very much for believing in Clique Wise. We look forward to more chill-out parties, enriching activties and meaningful connections with you.

25 August 2012

Niche Dating

Singapore's Chinese newspaper Lianhe Zaobao 联合早报 had approached me for an interviewed on the Dating Industry in Singapore. The article was published on 24 Aug 2012, ZB Now section, Page 1 and 3.

This comprehensive article mentioned that Dating Agencies are offering niche services to create unique selling proposition, add value to the singles and increase sustainability in the market. Besides interest-based activities, my company Clique Wise is offering age, income, religion and profession specific events.

Clique Wise's Paintball Gokart social event is catered for sporty, outdoorsy and fun singles.

Since I started online information portal Wow-her.com in 2004, I have been talking to singles during courses, events and coaching sessions. I hear their thoughts, feelings and feedback. Everyone is different and after most singles expressed the wish to meet people of similar background, values or lifestyle, I reckoned the need for facilitated group events. These social events gathers people of same interest together so that they could build lasting relationships from there. Hence I started Clique Wise in 2006.

"Dating agencies offer more personalised services, eg: during the dating events, Lydia would facilitate men to get to know other ladies appropriately. In addition, I've known Lydia for years, she has become a good friend; she will offer suggestions, encouragement and identify suitable ladies to me." Ben, a successful business owner who has tried online dating before switching to dating events. He met his current girl friend in Clique Wise's social event.

During the face to face interview, the humble, fair and wise reporter also asked me on the challenges that singles (who wish to settle down) face, I replied, "Singapore's society focus on meritocracy and materialism. Thus, we focus our energy on building our career to earn money, in hope of achieving success. If we have not attained the perceived success, we will not have the confidence and mood to consider dating, marriage or have offspring."

Relationships are a free and evolving thing and not a forced matter.  The one that wows and woo their partner to marriage is the individual. The one who pays the bills and taxes during the courtship and after the marriage are ultimately the individual couples. Thus having a healthy mindset towards commitment and a conducive environment to explore relationship is essential. Especially in today's fast paced world, these have been and are the challenges of courtship, marriage and child bearing in a free and open society. It is good that government recognizes the marriage and kids issues, but ultimately, it is a matter between singles tying the knot, not the government.

Clique Wise's seminar on social networking skills.

Besides running courses on self-improvement, dating and relationship, Clique Wise, also try to provide as conducive an environment that people need to build relationships and hopefully ending up in a marriage, within our limited means. We try to cater to diversity by trying to provide interactions between common interests as much as possible. It is unlikely people of conflicting interests, lifestyle and values on every level can find a compatible relationship.

Mr & Mrs Ong met through Clique Wise's Christian Singles social event.

We try to provide the avenue for people with some areas of commonhood to share, hopefully in depth and constructivity. In fact, our multiple genre approach (Religion, age, professional, income and interest groups) allows for greater interaction between ethnicity due to arranging common areas of interest. Over the years, people of same age group, hobbies and faith had met their spouse through our enriching events and tied the knot.

Clique Wise will continue to organise variety of interactive, original and fun lifestyle events to provide a platform for people to meet like-minded new friends and foster great relationships!

20 August 2012

Travel Light Essentials

For once, I had a clear vivid dream that I can recall. I wish God showed me a hunk, 4 digits or bluechips but it turned out to be this way...

A friend, who was travelling with us to Holland, sent me a text message that she was already on the way to the airport. She added that the weather is going to be cold, do bring something warm. It reminded me there was no thick clothing in my haversack. I went on a frantic search for my slim fit winter jacket. I spent 15minutes looking for it in my over flowing wardrobe but was a futile attempt. I reckoned my domestic helper could have mistaken it to be my brother's, I hunted for it in his room and… after another 20 minutes of searching, it was hidden at the darkest corner of his wardrobe! Whew...

The sign of relief was but a short one. It burst as soon as I realised the need to have the matching pants to go with this jacket. I went on for another panic search for the matching pants... Sweat broke as time tickle away. I struggle between the search for image and a flight to catch. By the time I decide on the pants to bring, it's10 min to boarding time of the flight. Argggh!!! So frustrated that I woke up. What a "fashion" nightmare!

In reality, I usually pack my luggage 3 days in advance to prevent such panicdrama. However, part of the dream on finding matching outfits is true.

Society expects us to dress appropriately for the occasion with matching outfits to reflect good grooming. I love to travel light, I had successfully sardine squeezed my travel essentials into a small haversack for a Hong Kong trip.

The trick to maximise the luggage space is to bring items that can be recycled. I’ll make an effort to bring clothing that could inter-match with one another and serves dual or triple purpose. The lightest wrinkle-free tops coordinated with my pretty sandals which is supposed to double up as slippers in the beach too. And the tees to go with my jeans, skirt, shorts and Capri leggings.

Such is the complexity of compact travel baggage planning. To avoid last minutes night mares like what I had last night, I would need to pack my luggage few days in advance. Plan things slowly as I recall the travel needs. Over the years, I developed this list to make the packing more efficient.

Here is my list of multi-purpose "must-brings" when I travel overseas:

1. Shorts for the gym or the beach.

2. Bikini for swimming which could double up as lingerie.

3. Wind-breaker to keep warm and dry from the rain.

4. Sandals cum beach slipper. Fashionable to lounge in clubs and comfortable for a stroll by the beach.

5. 1 dress that goes well with pretty sandals for formal dining/clubbing setting.

6. Pair of dressy sports shoes for trekking, gym exercing and marathon shopping! Keep our feet well-cushioned, blister free and happy. I chose neutral colours for easy wardrobe matching.

7. Wrinkle free tops and 2 tees.

8. Add a jacket and a matching skirt for work related travel.

9. 1 set of earrings that adds bling to the dress and the jacket.

10. Vaseline – moisturizer and lip balm.

11. Dettol as laundry detergent and disinfectant for cuts or wound.

Now you know the secret to haversack travel. Hope you find this list useful. Do contact me if you have other travel tips to share.
Happy Holidays!

16 August 2012

Chicken Rice

Lunch & Diner Place
Ipoh Lou Yau Bean Sprouts Chicken is super star famous in Malaysia, I am excited that they made their way to Singapore!

Joy to the world, Lou Yao is here!

After the fulfilling meal, the manager gave me tissues promptly. I felt it was thoughtful of him and chatted him up. From here, I discovered the beginning of this 2 months old eatery. Got impressed. What he said really WOWed me!

In order to retain the original taste of the food, they go the extra mile to:
1) engage a head chef who has decades of experience in the Ipoh restaurant,
2) prepare the key dishes from central kitchen for consistency and
3) import ingredients like bean sprouts and Hor Fun from Ipoh. The bean sprouts and Hor Fun are made from well water, which give them an extra burst of flavour!

Meticulous is the key to success!!! Another amazing thing that won my respect for them...
to maintain the service standard, they only employ Singaporeans! Wowee! Now, who dare to say Singaporeans are not desirable employees?!

Ipoh Lou Yau Bean Sprouts Chicken
Address: IMM #01-K09 Singapore 609601 (near Jurong East MRT)

1. Steamed Kampong Chicken - Tender flavourful love! Remember to pair it with the ginger spring onion sauce. Their chilli sauce is not hot, suitable for kids or folks with low threshold for spiciness.
2. Bean sprouts – Short, fat and crunchy without the "raw" taste.
3. Hor Fun soup – Slippery silky smooth!
4. Sour plum drink – Aperitive, elegant and savoury. Thirst quenching goodness!

Ambience: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: 9 out of 10

GST charges applicable. Paid about S$10 for my share of staple, chicken, bean sprouts and a drink.

8 August 2012


Lunch & Dinner Place

National Day eve, I drove my parents to this place for dinner. It used to operate in Bedok. For the last 2 years, they have relocated 4 times before settling down at Changi Road. It is run by a local husband and wife team. They are famous for their unique self-made Yong Tao Foo. Customers could order a set of Yong Tau Foo with noodles or rice at S$4.

1 month old at Changi Road

SimPang Yong Tau Foo Cuisine
Address: 301 Changi Road Singapore 419779 (near Kembangan MRT)
Opening hours: 10.30am – 8.30am (closed on Tuesday)

Unlike most stalls which order the stuffs from wholesalers,
SimPang made the Yong Tau Foo themselves.

1. Dried Chilli Sauce Yong Tau Foo – Exciting handmade variety of fried Yong Tau Foo served with boiled Kang Kong. Topped with dried chilli dark sauce. Ooooo... Mamameeyah!
2. Assam fish head – Appetizing!
3. Crispy Pork Knuckles– Marinated with depth. Grilled to remove the lard. Ultra crunchy! The sweet tangy sauce makes it more heavenly! S$18 (for large portion) only!

A guy dropped by and ordered 4 packets of these for his home beer party.
He was grinning from ear to ear when he received the Pork Knuckles.

Ambience: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: 9 out of 10

Ideal for simple family gatherings. Incredibly affordable restaurant without GST or service charge! Like most of the restaurants along Changi road, there are some parking spaces outside the restaurant. Indoor (air-conditioned) and outdoor sitting available. As we sat indoor, the food turned cold fast. Those who prefers their food warm, you might want to sit outdoor.

27 July 2012

7 Stages of Post Break Up

It was really nice of Radio station 938 to invite me down to share tips on emotional wellness over the airwaves on 16 July 2012. I thought it might be interesting to share with the listeners on breaking up, something usually painful and not easy to get over. One way of coping through such difficult times which may seem like a maze is to simplify it into 7 Stages of Post Break Up.  After breaking down it down into more manageable parts, we find ways to deal with them one at a time. I may have bitten a little bit more than I could chew as I was trying to explain over a 20-minute interview in nutshell on a topic which is better understood over a 1-day session that I conduct through interactive discussion.

1. Shock
The news of the break up comes as a sudden proverbial stab to the heart, to say the least.  The pain feels real enough though you cannot find any blood flowing out from your skin anywhere. But you may and usually find uncontrollable tears flowing out from you. You tell yourself, “This couldn't be happening to me!” And your body goes in a figurative state of shock, which feels real enough to those going through the break up. This sudden end in a relationship is a huge blow to your emotions and your senses shuts off to protect you from the pain. You feel numbness like a zombie, become totally disconnected from your surroundings, and your sense of time is lost, as likely will your appetite. You are in a state of confusion. You have difficulty in focusing on your studies if you are schooling, work if you are working. And even simple daily activities like eating, sleeping, writing your emails or adding a few numbers become disrupted as is your efficiency to carry them out. Some people may resort to alcohol or binging to distract themselves from the pain or numb themselves further.

2. Hope
After a somewhat recovery from the initial shock, the reality of the break up sets in. You refuse to accept the fact that he or she has left you and you desperately explore ideas, ways and possibilities to woo your ex-lover to come back.

You go all out to buy expensive gifts, perform acts of kindness and promise to repent for your past mistakes (even if they do not exist or know exactly what they are) to save the relationship. You attempt all possible ways to prove your love and get him or her back. You call and message your ex, hoping the relationship will revert to those perfect loving days. Some may do silly things; which is highly not recommended— like threaten to end their lives or injure themselves to get a response and hopefully, an ideal reconciliation from their lovers — I will not go into details but I am sure you have probably read one or two in the newspapers.

3. Rage
Now your dream of your happy marriage or future one is gone in a wisp of smoke. You are furious towards your ex-lover for spoiling the beautiful union that you worked out in your head. Blame him or her for causing you to be lonely single again. At this stage, emotions are raw with sudden outburst like crying, yelling or slamming of things. Out of revenge, some may expose compromising photos or videos of their ex online, which we as their friends sometimes unfortunately end up seeing.  Others might badmouth their ex, with the intention of making the ex suffer the way you had, and preferably more. Your actions frighten people, including the people around and ultimately yourself, when you reflect.

4. Bitterness
You are tired of crying, raging and trying to get him or her back. The energy has turned from hot-headed rage to cold bitterness as the reality settles in. You may have come to terms that this relationship is over. However the break up leaves  you scarred and scared of the world out there.  You become overly cautious, skeptical and biased about relationships. You may blame society or yourself for allowing this break up to happen. At this stage, ladies might generalize men as shallow, men may deemed women as materialistic. People around you can feel the negative vibes oozing out from you. Some acquaintance distanced themselves from you as they are uncomfortable with your self-absorbed, whiny and sarcastic disposition. Some people never leave this stage, which is an even bigger tragedy.

5. Dejection
Your self-esteem is bruised and you start to doubt your attractiveness and self worth. You see yourself as a social failure, sink into depression and feel sorry for yourself. You shun social activities, especially gatherings that involve couples and relatives. You have lost the confidence to socialize and no see the purpose to meet new friends. You are also afraid to go to places that you and your ex had been, for fear of evoking memories you had together. You carry a cloud of sadness and regret, bringing everything around you a notch down wherever you go. Friends and family wishes to bring you out and set you up for dating but you are too caught in your own sorrow and fears of failure to meet new friends. Even if you happen to meet someone suitable, you will not consider dating. I have met people who are stuck at this stage for years, which is a big shame.  I had a lady client who came to see me as she has not dated since her last break up 7 years ago. Before she knows it, she is already 39 year old (Luckily through help from LoveAgain, her emotional wellness is established. Now she is happily dating.).

6. Closure
The dark gloomy feelings have cleared. You reflect the past relationship and understand why it didn’t work rationally. There is control over emotional responses when you see your ex. You can even wish him or her happiness if you see them again. You accept that break up as part of your life, you learn from it positively and close this chapter of your life. You enjoy your independence, peace and confidence. You may be alone but do not feel lonely anymore. You feel more like a whole, peaceful and happy person again. This is the stage where the emotional baggages, stigmas or unrealistic expectations about relationships are greatly reduced if not totally shed. You are on the path to happiness!

7. Envision
The past experience had made you stronger and wiser with most of the bitterness gone. Your family and friends are delighted to see your new found ease, maturity and zeal. Your emotions evolve healthily and looked forward to developing connections on romantic level. You evaluate your criteria in looking for a life partner clearly and are willing to change your checklist base on suitability, wholesomeness and truthfulness. You can imagine the type of person you want to marry again. You are willing to share your life with others. You are open to dates, trust and love again! You decorate your calendar with social events to enlarge your network and catch up with old pals. You anticipate a wonderful, fulfilling and happy future.

Please note that this article was written based on general cases I’ve seen. These 7 Post Break Up stages are usually faced by most. However, not all the stages may occur to everyone nor follow the same sequential order. Some stages last longer than the other. But what is important is to seek assistance and get someone trained to support you in tough times like this.

Heartbreak is a complex event. It involves deep levels of healing and it is necessary to work with someone who can act as your mirror, to show you where you have been fractured and who can apply the correct intervention to help you heal in hours what would have taken years to recover. I encourage you to speak to a trained coach in heart break to help you manage your painful emotions and move on.

At LoveAgain, our heart break therapy consists of 7 stages of healing process to enable you to forgive, remove an emotional trauma, heal painful memories and gain a new perspective on life, feel like a whole person, have a vision of good healthy love, get empowered to pursue the vision and make better choices and attract the suitable people.

A single session at LoveAgain.sg allows you to let go of past hurt, anger and betrayal. Click here to find out more…

22 July 2012

Supper 3

After Midnight Supper Place
This Chinese restaurant offers a wide selection of traditional food. There are about 130 items on the menu. The prices are very affordable. Pu Tien Lor Mee is S$3.50 and Horfun is S$3 per plate. 

Too many choices for our limited tummy space.

Pu Tien Chor Huat Seafood Restaurant
Address: 389 Changi Road Singapore 419838 (near Kembangan MRT)
Opening hours: 10.30am – 12.30am

Fuzhou fishball in Henghua restaurant.

1. Handmade Fuzhou fish ball soup – Bouncy with fried meat fillings!
2. Song fish head in bean sauce – Steam fish with a spicy and sour twist.
3. German style pig trotters – Foreign flavour out to encourage sinning...
4. Salted egg crabs – What this shop is famous for!
5. Salted egg pork ribs - Ok I admit, I love salted eggs!
6. Chilli spiral shells – For seafood suckers. Really have to suck it out.
7. Fried Clams with Bittergourd – Exotic combination!

Fish head camouflaged in spicy bean sauce.

Ambience: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: 9 out of 10

Clean and affordable zhicha restaurant with indoor (air-conditioned) and outdoor sitting. A few parking spaces available outside the restaurant.

20 July 2012

Cult Beer

Uncommon craft beers sold in hawker center.

The Good Beer Company serves variety of quality craft beer that we can't find in clubs, coffee shops or bars. These craft beers are made by small sized authentic breweries around the world. Praise God, they house a selection of sweet fruity beers for ladies too. Very thoughtful!

Situated in a Hawker Center in rustic Chinatown, it is the place to savour different types of beer with pals, especially after a stressful day at work.

Mr Daniel Goh runs this bar.
Behind him, a fridge of beers for ladies. Wohoo!

The Good Beer Company
Address: Blk 335 Smith Street #02-58,Singapore 050335 (Chinatown Complex Market and Food Centre) Singapore 050335 (near Chinatown MRT)
Opening hours: 12noon - 11pm. Close on Sabbath Sunday.

The beers are served in glasses of different shapes and sizes.

1. Leavenworth - For the man!
2. Anker Boscoli - Fruit juice with beer. Light, fruity and refreshing!

Ambience: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: 7 out of 10

Wide selection of local food to chose from other hawker stalls too. This hawker center's car park is usually full on friday nights. Best to park nearby (like People's Park Complex) and walk over.