Treating others

The golden principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated.

8 Indoor Activities for Wheelchair bound Elderlies

8 Wholesome Indoor Activities for Seniors on Wheelchairs

During our weekly date with my parents, I would usually bring them the park for Vitamin D sunlight, shopping or meals at random restaurants.

Since I become a trainer 2 years ago, I make an effort to plan engaging wholesome activities for my parents. I try to include activities which stretch their brain cells and practice their fine motor skills while we spend quality time together.

Both of my aging parents require wheelchair to move around, hence the activities selected have to take this in consideration.

I find that it is easier to plan indoor activities for mum as there are more varieties of sit-down activities for females. Ladies can do flower arrangement, sewing, origami, beading, cake decoration, art and crafts... The list goes on... but there are limited tools for our elderly men. This is especially obvious when they are not highly educated. Sudoku, crossword puzzles or learning a new musical instrument would be tougher for them.

For my father, I chose items which are not kiddish, feminine or western; so he would feel comfortable using them. The following are some of the suitable tools which keeps my retiree dad occupied at home. They prevents dementia or degenerative aging. Some of these games are fitting for elderly ladies too!


1. Memory Game

A very simple memory game to play with old folks.
 

I bought it from a push cart.

2. 3D Model Building

Building a cool Jeep gives my dad a great sense of accomplishment.
Planes, tanks and architecture models are available as well. Very affordable.

We intend to paint it together one of these days.

 

3. Tangoes Game

Dad gets creative as he think of ways to form the shapes with limited pieces given.
Solutions are provided in this booklet.

This game set is suitable for the elderly as it is thick enough for adults to hold and
magnetic features to prevent the Tangoes from dropping. Brilliant for long-distance travelling.

This game can be played when the senior is alone.

4. Wooden Block Puzzles

The pieces are labelled with numbers.

5. Building Game

Plastic construction toys that joined by magnets.
Fun way to get the mind and hands working!

6. Coloring

Retro-themed coloring activity book "My Kueh Lapis". 

7. Calligraphy

Dad practicing Chinese calligraphy using papers that can be reused.

I intend to introduce western calligraphy to him.

8. Mahjong

All time favorite social strategy game!
My mother-in-law plays Mahjong with her siblings weekly.

There are definitely many more ways to maintain an active healthy lifestyle, feel free to share additional senior activities ideas to me. 😊

WeddingRenewal

My parents didn't bump to each other in the library. They were not childhood sweethearts from the same Kampong. Neither did they meet in the midst of war or calamities. Really nothing dramatic like most soap operas. They simply met each other through a matchmaker, exchanged rings on their first meeting and arranged for a simple wedding thereafter. They were not sure about love then but willing to give each other a try. 

Fast forward to more than half a century later— after raising 4 children and having 5 grandchildren; amidst ups and downs, toils and tears— they are now damn sure they are in love with each other. Today, they celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary and renewed their wedding vows— ever more committed and looking forward to more years together as husband and wife. And this is their love story. Love is something that grow with time unlike most movies.

PS: Dad and Mum, I am so proud of both of you. I am glad to be your offspring. Without your boldness to try, my siblings and I won’t be around. Love you both! Muacks!!!

Golden Days

Trust God's golden goodness overflowing abundantly in our lives.

During coffee shop talks, it is so easy to compare and lament how affordable standard of living was, and easier to earn a living during the 80s and 90s... While these "Good Ol' Days" conversations may seem harmless, constant exposure might affect our mindset in the long run— causing us to be more skeptical, uneasy and fearful.

Today, I woke up and saw the STI dropped. My waves of thoughts start to turn choppy. I felt the desire to pray and God reminded of me Psalm 23.6 — an uplifting, assuring promise that gives a mighty sense of tranquility. I felt much at ease after reading it and God prompted me to create the above poster to bless the folks online. 

Now that I am better aware, whenever I hear bad news, I would chose to focus on this precious promise of His and envision His bountiful supply of grace to continue to overflow in all my days. Hope this verse blesses your days too.

4 Types of Lousy Lovers

I categorize 4 types of men to avoid in romantic relationships and offer advice for these men (in blue). As a fair person, I will cover on the types of females to avoid in my next post.


Natural Charmer — treat relationships as hobbies
Usually very good-looking, affectionate or sweet talker, the natural born Casanova genuinely love women, enjoy dating and wowing them. Because of his magnetic personality, ladies will approach him. His playfulness will prevent him from staying in a relationship.

He might settle down with a woman when he gets tired of changing partners. 


Wannabe — treat relationship as social tools 
Insecure and self-absorbed, women are objects to satisfy his lust and ego or validate his social worth. As he are very manipulative, he could get women and dump them who are no longer useful to him without blinking his eyelids. He does not treat women with care, love or respect. Love scammers belong to this category. They will keep lying to suck more money from women.

He needs guidance to fill his deep emotional void and develop healthy perspective about females and relationships.

Self-proclaim expert — treat relationships as qualification
Being eligible, he could go into relationships with ease, however he could not maintain it for long due to his jaded arrogance, unwilling to compromise and lack of self-evaluation. He tend to complain and conclude that women are difficult based on the huge number of ex-girl friends he had. He feel that having more ex-girlfriends than usual people qualifies him to judge women and reject feedback from others. People like him makes me ponder "does having more ex make you a better lover?" More does not equate better.

After he consider others feelings plus feedback and get healed from his stubborn ways, he might become the love expert that he claims to be.


Faithful on paper — treat relationship as room mates bound by social contract
Neither good-looking, charming nor loving, he remains with the spouse for decades not because of love; but simply because of convenience or lack of better alternatives. Outsiders might see him as faithful to remain in marriage but his partner view him as unappreciative, uncaring and irresponsible. His wife have tried to encourage him to be romantic but he is too bored to be bothered. His sense of commitment is paper thin, as he does not provide any form of support to the marriage —  doesn't helping out at home during his off days, does not attend family birthdays or festivals nor shower the family with attention, gifts or money. He is busy with his own life. Men in this group are emotionally, physically or financially uninvolved towards their family. It can be unbearably lonely to be married to him.

He has to find out the causes for his need to be detached from his loved ones and deal with it.  He has to recognise that conscious effort has to be made for a marriage to glow. Women are easy to wow if he sincerely cherish his long time partner. Putting a little effort and creativity would add happy spice to his mundane life, put smiles on his partner's face and win him the golden title of a good lover!

8 Sure Ways to Snuff Out Romance

Valentine’s Day is here to remind us to cherish our partner and set aside this day to celebrate with them. At times, we are too caught with the stress of living that we neglected the purpose of this special day. Romance is like candlelight that needs to be maintained with gentleness and care. Snuff out the flame and more efforts would be required to re-light the fire again. Thus, be aware of these behavior that could extinguish the tender feelings silently…

1) Critical
The chicken should be marinated longer...
You shouldn’t use plural whenever you use the word…
You should shave...

Some perfectionist got so WHINY, not only they spoil the mood, they miss out on the fun of the occasion totally. In the bible, Jesus confronted Martha for fretting over the small stuffs and direct her to focus on enjoying his companionship instead.

Nit-picking on the smallest details frustrates people, especially the person who plans the date. The partner felt the critic had undermine the sincerity and efforts that was put in to plan the date. Feeling unappreciated, I wonder if their partner will ever try to romance their demanding partner again…


2) Calculative
Being calculative over the amount spent on your date just spells out loud that your fear of being shortchanged super exceed the love for your partner. That said, everyone hopes their efforts would be reciprocated with appreciation.


3) Dishonest
Imagine constantly trying to catch and match the consistency of the words and actions. It can be very tiring to date a chronic liar. Without trust, how can your date let their guards down and let the loving feeling glow?


4) Unfaithful
Victims of unfaithful partners would be too consumed with bitterness to appreciate any romantic gestures. Some adulterers are unaware of the hurt they have caused their partner; they thought that an expensive bag or dinner would do the trick of rekindling the love. Not so easy! The key to reconcile is to sincerely apologize and repent. Feelings of betrayal and anger have to be appeased before any romance can be established.


5) Insecured
Am I attractive? 
Am I fat?
Do I look good in purple?
There are folks who are so self-absorbed with their own issues and insecurities, they fish for compliments and assurances throughout the entire conversation. Their date end up feeling used as a tool of validation.


6) Offensive
No matter how sexy you think you are; being rude, loud or inconsiderate utterly puts people off.


7) Yo Brother! Hey Sister!
Do this only when you wish kill every possibilities to kiss him or her (applicable to Christians too).

By acknowledging your date as a sibling, you are putting your date into the “friend-zone”. He or she will get the drift and AUTO log-out of “romance mode”. Any idea of romance thereafter would suggest incest. Eeks…


8) Spoilt
Princess or prince wannabes think that by being unrealistically demanding, it will keep admirers on their toes to impress them.

Winning the heart of these haughty might seems challengingly fun for the admirers at first. Over time, it can be very demeaning to be the slave. Once these admirers realize they are looking for an equal partner (to love and support each another), and not a royalty to please. Poof!!! They will scram for freedom!


Hope these 8 tips gives you a better picture of an enjoyable Valentine's Day with your partner. 

CAGE

At a beautiful Christmas party, we were grouped to perform skits on overcoming challenges. The sweet motivation to win? Ice-cream for supper! Yum Yum Drool Drool..

My table of new found friends brainstormed and scripted the skit is about 15 min. It brought back memories of countless skits my Junior College classmates and I came up with during our General Paper tutorial classes. Those happy days! I felt like a young, excited and playful student again!

My team named our skit Ah Beng Love Story – a short predictable drama on boy meet girl, boy "bang wall", boy cry God for help, angel teach boy, boy win girl's heart and we sang an upbeat love song as finale. I was given the role of angel to guide the cluelessly crude "Ah Beng" to woo a demure classy girl. What's unexpected was – I won the Best Actress award!!! I am abashed for winning as I'm being myself, dishing out relationship tips which I have been always doing. This is not acting. Still, I thanked God for the roars of laughter and shared the trophy strawberry cheesecake ice-cream with everyone in the party.

After the skit, there are people approaching me to repeat the tips that I've shared on winning ladies heart. It comes in the acronym CAGE:

1. Connection
Connection is about a mutual feeling of affinity, trust, security and comfort. Have a complimenting rhythm when communicating with her so that she feels safe and easy to talk to you.

2. Appreciation
Thank her effort that she had made to dress up for the date and spent time with you rather than with others. Simple acts of appreciative gestures like these convey your heart. These score more than an expensive handbag or caviar.

3. Gifts
Whether it's bottle of herbal tea to ease her cough or a pair of dazzling earrings to match her fashion style, give gifts to show thoughtfulness and admiration for her.

4. Empathy
When she needs a listening ear, encouragement and support, be there for her. It will show that you are mature, caring and committed life-long partner.

With these 4 keys in mind, you guys will be able to capture the heart of your desire. May these keys illuminates your path in the search of love.

Have a wonderful Christmas filled with joy!

Fulfilling-Relationship

Hope you have found your fulfilling relationship!
Happy Friday 13!

Recycle Wheelchairs

The screws on my mum's wheelchair were rusty and loose. We wanted to buy her a new wheelchair and wondering how to dispose the old one when my resourceful sister told me about this organization.

Their office at a voideck of HDB

Mobility Aids Services & Training Centre
Address:  Blk 254 Tampines Street 21 #01-464 Singapore 521254
Tel: 67839023
Website: http://kampungsenang.org/

Opening hours:
9am to 5.30pm (Monday- Friday)
9am to 1pm (Sat)
Closed on Sunday and public holidays

Mobility Aids Services & Training Centre at Tampines is a charity organization that collects used wheel chairs, commodes, walking aids or hospital beds.  They even offer to collect these equipments from your home (within Singapore).

The room that used living aids are given  facelift

Mobility Aids Services & Training Centre will repair and refurbish the donated mobility aids/ hospital beds so that it is working well before they rent it out. In our aging society, organization like these serves 2 important purposes of defraying the cost of living aids for the needies and recycling to protect our earth's resources.

Many models to chose

We are for recycling. We gladly gave Mobility Aids Services & Training Centre Mum's old wheel chair so that they could revitalize it to be usable again.  They have a huge collection of living aids, some of them are relatively new! We decided to rent one from them instead of spending a few hundred dollars on a new one. The fee for renting a wheelchair is S$80- S$100. There is no time limit to the rental of their equipments. Excellent for folks who are terminally ill or immobile.

Mum's new horse

Mum tried on a few wheel chairs and selected this one which suits her height and lifestyle.

Thank God for organizations like these, they have to receive donations to support their operations. On this season of giving, let's donate to them (via their website) or share this post to create awareness about their services so that more can be blessed.

Herbivore Men

It was my honour to be invited to the mandarin morning talk show 早安你好 at MediaCorp again. This time, we spoke about 草食男, Herbivore men or grass-eating men. Here is the content that I've prepared for the show:

草食男 is a term to describe a group of urban young men (age 30 and below) who are fashionable, well-groomed and neat. They are gentle, polite, prudent, image and health conscious. Besides being nice, educated and attuned to emotional needs, they treasure their personal time and love to spend it with their loved ones, hobbies and grooming. They will not hesitate to get a gym membership but turn passive when it comes to relationship and career.


Causes of  "Herbivore men" in Singapore
Usually Herbivore men stay with their self-sufficient parents, and need not strive for survival. Like tigers in the zoo, these men grew up in a well-fed and protected environment. Hence they lost their hunting skills, aggressiveness and motivation to expand their territory.

Caged creatures could not activate their prowess.

Herbivore men are comfortable and contented with their current state of life. In Singapore, due to high cost of apartments, inflation and tougher competition for jobs, these men become more careful when making long term financial commitments. Herbivore men are not used to risks and thus, more cautious to take up challenges.

I have spoken to many local bachelors who fit the description of Herbivore men. But they are not totally adverse to relationship, marriage or having their own kids. As new-age sensitive guys, they recognize the need to have a life-partner, the importance of family and the joy of having children. Deep down, they sincerely wish to get married eventually. However they may not ready to face the uncertainties and burdens of marriage.


Do Herbivore men make a good life partner?
Yes. They make a good husband as they respect women, willing to listen and value family time. They are excellent shopping, cooking and travel companion.


4 As for ladies who are interested to date a Herbivore man:

Approachable
Be friendly, pro-active yet not forceful. Feel free to initiate and ask him out based on activities that he is interested in. Eg: shopping at a new boutique. During the show, 2 concerned mothers of Herbivore men called to encourage ladies to approach these passive men. Even mothers support this idea!

Appearance
Since he is mindful of his own image, it is only logical that he wants to be with a presentable lady. Being spiffy will leave him a good impression plus wanting to date you more!

Acceptance
Accept his lifestyle, spending habits and career choice. Adjust your expectations when you love a Herbivore man. If both of you are working and planning to wed, be ready to support the house, wedding and family expenses together. He will appreciate your understanding. Being too princessy, materialistic or demanding will not make anyone a good life partner.

Assurance
Be patient, supportive and encouraging. Give him the courage to take the new responsibilities in life confidently. Avoid criticizing or comparing him with other men. Be a committed partner who can wave the storms and smell the roses with him. Once he has the confidence in you, he will consider asking you to be spend the rest of his life with you!   

I will share about Carnivore women next week.

Save Money & Your Life: DIY Air Purification Against Haze

DIY Air Purification Against Haze 

Even since the haze started and gotten dangerous. The air purifiers went out of stock. Price of mask has reached all time high. Even spa salons offer the precious N95 mask for free with purchase of their spa package. We are told to stay indoors to prevent exposure to the polluted air.

But what can we do when we have no air conditioner or air purifier indoors?!

After much research, my boyfriend and I discovered that we can fix up an air filer with household items while keeping ourselves cool. Concept of Air purifiers is to trap the particles in the air on the filters paper. This means lower concentration of air pollutants will get into your body. We applied this theory and we used a fan cover to attach the filter papers to an electric fan.

DIY Home Air Purification System with fan cover and floor cleaning sheet.
Place the suggested air filters between the fan cover and the fan.

These materials are cheap and easily available.
A low income family can afford it.

For those who cannot find a suitable fan cover,
here is another version of DIY Home Air Purification System. 
Use a chair as the frame of the filters.
Stick the suggested air filters on the back support of the chair. 

We can use the following as filter papers:
1) HAPA filter papers for air purifiers
2) Dry disposable cleaning towels that homemakers use for sweeping the floor (Magic clean, Scott Brite)
3) Kitchen towels
4) even used N95 masks


The other important key to reducing the air pollutants in your house is to keep the windows closed. When there is an opening, use a wet towel or masking tape to seal the area. Put few pots of plants indoors to generate oxygen.

Hope these simple ideas helps to relieve us from the discomfort of the Haze and make the air in our home more breathable. It will be fun project for parents to engage their kids in too.

Anti-Haze

Singapore skies thick with haze

With PSI at new high of 321 due to the fires from neighbouring countries, I am concerned over the health and well-being of Singapore. Besides praying for rain to cool and cleanse the air, I am prompted to share these:

9 Protective Measures Against Haze

1. Drink more room-temperature water
   Avoid pouring cold water down your throat as it may induce cough in this harsh weather.
2. Eat more fruits
   To strengthen immunity, especially our lungs.
3. Stay in door
   Hide from the harsh and dry elements. Exercise at home or in the gym instead.
4. On the air conditioner
   Filter off the pollutants.
5. Clean aircon filter
   As the filter would be working doubly hard these few days.
6. Put indoor plants
   For natural fresh supply of oxygen in your room.
7. Leave a wet towel in your room
   Let the wet towel absorb the burnt particles in the air.
8. Invest in an air-purifying device
   Thanks to the wonders of technology, we could clean the air we are breathing at the press of a button. Do get those with filter papers that will trap the dusty air particles.
9. Wear mask when outdoor
   Do prepare eye drops in case the dryness stink your eyes.
   
   Why let the haze dull us up?! Now is the best time to shop for a comical mask. Or decorate our medical mask to cheer everyone up!

Who needs a holiday?

A facebook quote sparked this post.  

"Instead of wondering where your next vacation is, maybe you ought to set up a life you don't need to escape from." ~ Seth Godin

This reminds of my discussion with a workaholic friend. He enjoys his job tremendously and shared how puzzled he is by people who is constantly looking towards holiday. Another guy said he is very weary of dating girls who are always out of the country for vacations on every long weekend. He does not understand why they are so upset with their life that they have to opt for escape with every chance.

We were not referring to of people who travel once or thrice a year to experience adventure, explore a new culture, get new inspiration or experiencing fun family time. Neither are we referring to expats who wants to maximise their time and proximity to explore other parts of Asia while they are in Singapore. Nor retirees who have the time and  money to travel around the world.

Here, we are referring to a group who could be stressed, unhappy or bored with their current life to the extent they always feel the need to escape out of their country to feel SANE.

These "escapists" may be leading a miserable life due to the following:

1. They are ego-driven — having the continual need to win, put others down or boast about themselves in order to feel moments of superiority. While they might be successful in their careers, the price of expressing their egos too readily leaves them feeling really lonely and unloved. This feeds into the vicious cycle of making them suspicious, untrusting and unloving which will ultimately cause them to feel emotionally tensed and tired.
2. They are always fending off attacks from people in point 1 at the workplace. Their workload is beyond them. However, due to other commitments, they dare not leave their jobs. They require holidays to relax their defences.
3. People with family issues to handle. They feel they can't let go of their responsibilities emotionally. Eg: Caregivers. They seriously need holidays to prevent being burnt out.
4. People who finds crowded city life too tough to cope.
5. People with low self-esteem who lack the ability to connect with others and themselves on a deeper level. They crave for holidays or entertainment to fill the emptiness in their lives.

If such is the lives they lead, they will need to find ways of escaping.

Some might argue traveling is fun, we travel while we are young and mobile. But adventures, new experiences and challenges come in many forms. Learning to play a new musical instrument, foreign language or sports can be fun, healthy and exciting too. So actually there is no need to go overseas to get it. Once in a while, a trip for a refreshing change/inspiration is perfectly fine. But if someone has to go for holidays constantly to "escape", then there might be a deeper void inside that one has to look into, besides the financial one. One might even start by thinking about a staycation as an option and as a good way to question yourself the need to go overseas..

Before we spend thousands of dollars on holidays, what we might really need is a mirror. I liken a good life coach as a mirror. A mirror to reflect who we are. A life coach would encourage us, teach us ways to manage stress, build our sense of emotional well-being, broaden our mindset and guide us to discover our happiness in life. Our joys and passion are best developed when we understand ourselves better.

Besides engaging a life coach for an one on one coaching sessions. There are other ways to self-discovery:
1. Feedback from honest, kind and wise close friends and family members
2. Divine revelation from God
3. Self-improvement workshops
4. Personality tests
5. DNA fingerprint test

Once we know our personality, motivation and talent, we are able to find passion, confidence and joy.

In future, prior to bursting our hard-earned money or exhausting ourselves from tight and tiring overseas holidays, do consider what we really need. Is it a holiday, a change or a reflection?

Legoland

Lego has been my wished-for toy since young. Yap it is Lego, not barbie or 家家酒. I enjoyed Lego tremendously as it provides the freedom to create and build whatever comes to my mind. Coincidentally, it is also my boyfriend's favorite toy. When Legoland was launched, we jumped with joy! We bought 2 tickets through Groupon and visited our dreamland yesterday.

About 5 min walk from main road to the entrance.
A lot of walking required, do wear comfy shoes, sun block and hat.

 

 

This theme park is packed with innocent fun, interactive games and creative activities!

 

 

Variety of Lego bricks and parts sold here based on weight. Yes to more creativity!

 

 

Tables of Lego bricks in almost every corner of the park for us to play. 

Lego Chess set sold at the store, my ideal Christmas gift!

 

 

Happy Halloween!

 

Excited to see my beloved toy in human size!

 

 

A toy train! And we get to ride in it! Wohoo!

 

 

A guy picking up a lady in red, anything can happen in Miniland!

 

 

Gangnam Dance at Legoland.

 

 

Driving school. Too bad we are unable to join... Only for 6-13 years old.

 

 

Here, we could test our Lego construction if it could withstand earth quake.

 

 

My duck car and boyfriend's Kiasu truck. He likes it ultra long...

 

 

Drive a giant toy boat!

 

 

Spin and be shot!

 

 

After the wild rides, you may get this at the Minimart to curb the giddiness and nausea.

 

 

Tods get high! Vertical rides for kids.

 

 

Splash!!!

 

 

Behind this wall is the activity that got both of us crazy!
We get to aim, shoot and compare scores!

 

 

Tikum Tikum!
About RM 6 per game. RM 10 for 2 games.

 

 

We had good fun at Legoland. It reminds us the joy of  playing. It is only 15min away from the Johor custom. Excellent for couples and family bonding. The restaurants accept Singapre dollars too, very convenient for Singaporeans (about RM 20 per meal each). Hope to visit it again real soon!