Sharing tips based on observations, interactions and reflections gathered from my work experience. In addition to organizing and facilitating events in South East Asia, I train and assess event planners.
Reflect and learn from 2011.
Forgive and live!
Let go and love!
May the days ahead be exciting, colourful and creative!
Let abundance of goodwill, peace and positivity be unleashed this coming new year! Cheers to a Merry 2012!!!
Sharing with you the diet-free resolution that was found in Boxing day!
After 3 days of partying with family and friends. Boxing day is wonderful day to rest, reflect on the past and resolute goals for the new year.
As I was thinking how many resolutions could I have, how achievable should it be, what are the past resolutions that was not realistic, what are those that could be recycled (eg: dieting), how does it benefit the future... I began to wonder how effective resolutions are and why should I be stressed at all.
Most of us tend to focus on either dwelling on the past or setting goals for the future; that we neglect "now".
But "now" is most precious!
Now paints a colorful past! Now sets the tone for the future!
As we are busy worrying, lamenting or dreaming; time is slipping away... we forget that "now" the best time to live, to appreciate our loved ones, to enjoy their imperfections and smell the dinner that our kitchen is cooking... hmmm heavenly! The sizzling omelette in my wok reminds me that I'm hungry now. Ops! Distraction* Ignore resolutions. Open prezzies first so that I can settle my tummy. :P
Calendar Clock ~ Christmas gift
As I peel the wrappers, as I check out my lovely gifts... I grow to appreciate the wonderful people around me, the tireless fan above, the home that shelters, the crimson sunset, the peace... I thank God for this time... This beautiful moment that I get to taste the myriad flavours of living.
Now, I unfold a new meaning to Boxing day - A day to celebrate our "present" and count
Christmas is an awesome reason to shower appreciation for our family, friends, partner, business associates and clients.
As much as we love to give, it can be tough to choose a presentable, creative yet thoughtful gift, especially when it is to be given to the opposite gender. Fret not. Christmas shopping can be easy, fun and fruitful! Let these suggestions enlighten you; and expand the possibilities beyond chocolates, towels and coffee-mugs!
1. Baking/ Cooking
Bake ginger bread man cookies, mix her favourite salad or roast a beef! Women love men who can cook. Cooking/baking will not make you less manly, but more caring. It is certainly cheaper than eating out, yet you win more points than buying her Christmas meal/cookies. There are many tried and tested recipes on internet. Download a recipe of her favourite dish, shop for ingredients and start cooking. If she is game, sign up for cooking classes and have fun bonding together!
2. Pampering Treats
Massages, manicure, pedicure, hair cut, grooming services are one of the essential recreation of modern ladies. These perk-me ups make women feel refreshed, rejuvenated and rejoiced! When she looks good, she feels good too! Buy a spa package/ vouchers from a reliable Spa for her cloud 9 experience.
3. Hand bags
Women have few hand bags to match their varied wardrobe and different occasions. Get her a hand bag that suits her lifestyle. If you are unsure, consult her closed ones who are aware of her style and endowed with a good sense of fashion.
4. Music CDs
Christmas songs to get her into the festive mood. She could play it during her Christmas parties too!
5. ... ... (Fill in the blanks)
City girls know what they like. Women feel respected when asked for her personal opinions. Casually ask her what is her wish-list and you may see some light on what she wants. For those with a certain budget, this question might help: "if you have won $XX cash voucher in Takashimaya, what would you redeem?"
Christmas celebrates the gift of living. Enjoy the process of choosing gifts for the beloved ladies, wow her and relish wonderful time together!
Board games, drinking games, console games; or even a treat to a game of archery is fun!
If hand phones or flat screen TV is beyond your budget/relationship with him. Consider accessories for his toys... It could be a pair of speakers, iPad sleeves or car pillows. These will spice up his high-tech experience.
The most popular accessory for males.
High quality wallet/brief case/ shoes/ belts make a practical, presentable and professional gift for him.
Every man owns at least one Tee-shirt, a quality sports tees does not show sweat stains and dry fast. Dry fast sports tees are especially essential for the sporty men or men who live in tropics like Singapore.
Hope these ideas help you to choose the most appropriate, useful and impressive presents.
I have been planning so many High Tea for Clique Wise's singles social events that MediaCorps producer invited me to review a High Tea buffet in Singapore.
The buffet which I reviewed is Hyatt Hotel's 10 Scott. When I sat down, I got totally soaked in love with the relaxing, modern, chic, classy yet cosy ambience. Besides causal catch-ups with friends, it's also an excellent place for business meetings.
Comparing with other High Tea buffets in Singapore, this restaurant outshines for it's great variety of pastries and desserts. The quality of the food is prime and fresh. Definately good value for money! My favourite dishes are the raspberry sorbet, salmon salad, beef sandwich, chocolate tarts and crab cake.
For those of you who love bubblies, you will love the free flow of champagne! Cheers! ;)
With fellow judge Ocean Channel 8 variety show "Buffet Buffet 2" production team busy setting up for filming in the background.
After the Singles Day celebration dating event on 11 Nov, I flew to Taiwan to join my family for a holiday the next morning.
When I saw this breath-taking view from my room at the Lalu, I was awed speechless. It's a Chinese painting came to live! I was mesmerized by the grandeur of God's creation. I felt small compared to the huge mountains yet connected... Connected with self, God and nature.
Enjoy the panorama view taken from my Canon camera, without tripod.
What an ultra refreshing experience!
Thank God for this wonderful holiday to feel in touch with nature, especially when it was shared with my loved ones.
Many articles have been written on dating, few define the acceptable social graces of attending a single’s event. Here, Lydia shares some practical networking tips.
Keep an open mind, relax, smile and have eye contact. Tell yourself it is an event that gives you a chance to be social and have fun meeting more people of the opposite sex and varied interests/ background.
Always take a lighter side of things and appreciate their efforts to be humorous and, witty. Not everyone shares the same sense of humour. Be gracious to participants who are shy and slower to open up to people. A lady friend ever confided in me that a rude guy walked out of her before she could finish her sentence during a speed-dating. She was so affected that she was unable to attend single events for almost a year.
Don't be hasty to judge against others because of gender differences in communication.
Be aware of proper dining and networking etiquette by eating slowly and enjoying the conversation. The focus should be on the people, not on the food or getting drunk.
Be kind even though that person may not appeal to you, their friends might and people do talk.
Show an interest in others
Great conversationalists are set apart by their ability to make any conversational partner feel like the only person in the room. Everyone likes to feel special and people, even very shy people, like to talk about themselves, so let them and show a genuine interest in what they are saying. In our fast-paced society, taking the time to show an interest in another person is a rare and valued commodity. Maintain friendly eye contact. Show sincerity in knowing them as a person. When you promise to call then, please do so. Why promise something you don't intend to do and risk having bad reputation as someone without integrity?
Heavy topics like marriage, past relationships, income, religion, politics, complaints or distasteful jokes (sexist, racist, religious, etc.) should be avoided as it might scare the person away on the first meeting. Keep the conversation light on hobbies, food, movies, music or upcoming events. Be conscious of ‘showing off’ and dominate the conversation as it may come across as being arrogant and self-centred. Try not to ‘win’ or get the upper hand at each statement the other just said. It is not a debate.
Dress right for the occasion
Check out with the organizers on the dress code for the event. When you turn up dressed appropriately, it shows that you care enough to make the effort to impress. It also reflects that you respect the occasion, the people attending the event and yourself! Do turn up on clean and pressed clothes. Personal hygiene is also very important. Greasy and untidy hair is definitely out. Ladies do put on some light makeup.
Don't overdress or dress too revealingly as you may project the wrong image. Social events featured in Wow-Her.com are for people who are serious about making friends, exploring possibility of relationship and hopefully marriage.
Learn the art of making small talk, establish some connections so that your new found friends has a deeper impression of you when you contact them again. For example, you met Lady A during an event and both of you share the love of scuba diving, so when you sms / email her to meet for the first date, do mention that you are the guy who enjoys scuba diving as much as she does. Give them something to remember you by. We meet about 20 to 40 people per event. Not everyone has a super memory to remember everyone.
You may meet someone that captures your heart so much that you want to make him or her yours. To prevent competition, you decide to spend the rest of the event talking to her only. However he or she may not share the same sentiments. Be gracious enough to let him or her interact with others too. Being possessive does not reflect well on you.
Same goes for being punctual, it creates the right impression that you respect others enough not to make them wait. If you happen to be late due to circumstances beyond your control (e.g. bad traffic conditions), do apologize to the organizer and the participants for delaying the start the activities. As organizers, we need the cooperation of everyone before we can efficiently facilitate the lined-up programmes on the event.
At the end of the social event, the guys may offer to send the ladies home. Some ladies may not be comfortable to let him know where they stay. In this case, respect her privacy. Offer to walk her to the bus-stop or taxi stand instead. She will be grateful that you respect her decision and care for her safety too.
After the event, you may want to contact people whom you wish to get to know better and explore possibilities of friendship or even a relationship. The social event is just a platform to meet singles, subsequent friendship can be only forged by staying in contact. Asking a person to meet up for a second time just means that you would like to get to know the person better. It does not necessarily mean a steady relationship has been agreed to. A firm relationship takes time to develop. So relax and enjoy dating different people.
There are cases when you felt obliged to give your email address to another participant during an event as everyone else was exchanging contacts. If the person makes the sincere effort to contact you but they are not exactly your type; how then do you handle the matter?
How do you decline a date? Gracefully. Just say politely “No thank you, I am not interested.” If they persist, then you can ignore them. No matter how incompatible you are, you should reply to their emails or sms. It is just basic courtesy. Moreover, it reflects on whether or not you have class and refinement. I have received feedback from many guys that they felt upset and rejected by ladies who did not bother to reply and they gave up on dating women. My advice for these guys is not to take a failed encounter as a permanent setback.
Attending singles activities can be very enjoyable and enriching now that you know the do's and don'ts. Have courage to keep meeting people from all walks of life and enjoy the fellowship of your new-found friends! ~ Lydia Gan
Halloween is one of the oldest holidays celebrated by people from all over the world. In Singapore, it has become an exhilarating thematic festival which people get to play up their dream characters and party!
Instead of being spooky, Halloween has evolved to be amusing, artistic, creative, wholesome and localised.
Here are 5 Halloween costume ideas which I feel are uniquely Singapore:
Down-to-earth ~ It would be more Singapore if farmer boy puts local produce like Durian, Mangosteen or Rambutan in his basket.
Kampong glam ~ Malay couple growing old together, so sweet and inspiring!
Singapore school uniforms ~ Evoke wonderful memories of our childhood.
What's in vogue? ~ This popular Singapore TV drama revitalised the Nonya culture! Kebayas are rich in colors, accentuate the curves and attention-getting!
Multi-racial ~ Singapore is bountiful in folklore, culture and religion. Find a hero/shero that makes you rock!
With these Halloween ideas, what will you be this Halloween?
11th November has been designated as the World Singles Day. In China, fried dough stick and a bun are eaten specially to signify Singles day. In Korea, Singles day is signified with black sauce noodles. Singapore is commonly known as a "Food Haven". As a nation of foodies, what do you think we should eat to signify Single's day (11.11)?
Should it be Fried Dough stick, Ice-Cream (stick), Satay or French Fries?
Please help fill this 1 question survey on what food Singapore should eat to celebrate Singles day.
11 Reasons Why Singles Are Not Dating in Singapore This article is featured in AsiaOne online magazine in 2007
1. Lack of Confidence
Have you ever woke up early in the morning, looked at yourself in the mirror and wonder, “Who will ever love me?” Low self-esteem and fear of rejection can cause such episodes to cripple anyone’s love life! As long as such thoughts are foremost in the mind, singles will be unable to take the all important step to initiate a date or accept a date.
2. Clueless In Love
Gone out with a date who looks like he just woke up, hasn’t brushed his teeth, doesn’t open the door for you and picks his nose at the table? You’re probably not alone. Lack of grooming, communication skills, social and dating etiquette can spell disaster for any potential social opportunities. Want to network, impress someone on a date or connect with anyone in a relationship? Better pick up a copy of Grooming and Etiquette for Dummies.
3. Denying the Coming of Age
Mommy’s Boy and Daddy’s Princess. These big kids can’t face up to the fact that they are adult and of marriageable age. They prefer to remain pampered as mummy’s boys and daddy’s princesses. Either too spoilt or too sheltered to take the next big step, better go buy a lottery ticket if they actually decide to settle down.
4. Wa Bo-Chap! (I Can’t Be Bothered)
They think it is cool to “act cool” about their marital status. When their motto is “Singles have more fun!”, there really isn’t any impetus to get out of this single’s comfort zone. And even if they do want to get attached, they really expect their other half to accept all their bad habits wholesale. Don't expect them to change or compromise anything.
5. Consistently “Not Ready for Relationship”
The most commonly heard “default” reason for the “un-dating” singles. These singles are “Not Ready for a Relationship” and they are reluctant to do anything constructive to get themselves ready. The thing is, as long as you’re not ready for a relationship, you’ll never find yourself in one!
6. Kia Pai-Seh lah (Scared to be Embarrassed)
Another addition to the popular Singaporean syndromes of being Kia-Su and Kia-Si is Kia Pai-Seh - the fear of “losing face”. Sufferers of such a syndrome won’t be caught dead dating someone or attending any singles events or courses on dating etiquette. To them, it is like announcing to the whole world that they are desperate to get out of single hood. Grow up! There is nothing wrong with wanting to get hitched. Human beings are born to procreate. Be proactive about our dating lives! It is more practical to attend social events to get to know more singles friends then sitting around waiting for a life-partner to drop from heaven!
7. Being Commitment Phobic
This phobia is the inability or unwillingness to share their life with someone else or absolve themselves of past hurts. While it can be a valid and emotionally debilitating phobia, a lot depends on whether the single in question recognises the phobia for what it is. Once the phobia is recognised, there are life coaches, counsellors, self-help books, forums and informative websites that singles can turn to. The trick, as always, is to first recognise that you do have that problem!
8. No Money
For the financially insecure, we can understand when men lament “No money to buy expensive dinners, how to date?” or when a girl said “No money to buy little black dress, how to impress any date?” Well, the good news is dating is about fun. There are many ways to create fun without having to spend lots of money. Fun is all about looking into each other’s eyes and laughing together!
9. Too Busy
Drained after a hard day’s work and other commitments, is there no more room for romance? Find the well-spring of strength and stamina that is inside everyone. The youth in Hong Kong work as hard as Singaporeans, and their lifestyle is as stressful than ours. But they adopt a work hard, play harder mentality which makes them such a vibrant population. Their singles are still able to make time and effort to date. How much is companionship worth to you?
10. Haven’t met someone suitable yet…
There are 600,000 singles out there in Singapore! If I had a dollar for every single out there, I’d consider myself rich! 600,000 singles and not one suitable? I am sure you can find one that can clique well with you. The question really ought to be “Are you making the effort to meet them?”
11. Am I a Homosexual?
You mean you’re still unsure?! Well, for those who are still unsure of their sexual orientation (even now!), I would suggest they see a counsellor first… I definitely wouldn’t want to date someone who is still wondering if he is a gay!
Given the above 11 reasons why singles are not dating, I would like to salute everyone who is attached or married for their courage to change, to give love and to receive love.
Especially to those have attended singles events and coaching sessions; I am very proud of your confidence to face your single-hood, and to have the wisdom to be open and proactive enough to participate in enriching your lives. These are very attractive qualities. Keep it up!
For singles who have taken a lifetime vow of celibacy, we respect your decision and wish you all the best. May the love and strength of your God be with you always.
Winning the Age Old Game of Love This article written by Lydia Gan was featured in Romancing Singapore Website in 2007
So… the eyes met, conversation was good, the mood was set and the feeling has been mutual. You exchanged contact numbers and then? What’s next? If you don’t have a game plan, it may be doomed before it ever gets started.
Fortunately or unfortunately, you are not the only one. We set the scene for you, step by step to win this age old game of love!
Planning for the First Date
Arrange the date few days in advance, avoid last minute request as this increases the possibility of your date turning you down. Rejection does affect your confidence to ask him or her out again. Besides you do not want to be seen as THAT desperate.
Choose a day that you are least stressed up, so if Monday is loonly – leave the “Mondays” OUT. Have enough rest for the day – or risk looking haggard in front of your date. Go on the date feeling your best and being your best.
Give 100% of your attention to your date. Show genuine interest, listen and get to know about each other. Relationship is about communication, dating is not about “what you know” and “what you can do” or “how much you have” bRAg-a-tHOn. Give your date the due attention. Leave your blackberry alone for a while and a little human attention might just go a long way.
Last but not least, plan with your date’s comfort in mind, appropriate setting and date movies to watch. If you think that she/he might not enjoy the setting – most likely the chances are that you are right. A little asking will do a world of charm.
Maximize Your Appearance
How many of you heard the saying “beauty lies in the eye of the beholder?” – well that is a excuse to be lazy. You know that the first impression counts, I know that it matters so here at Wow-Her.Com we state our belief that L-O-O-K-S DOES MATTER. We speak the truth.
Suppose you saw an unkempt date that turns up wearing shoddy outfit looking like a refugee from some lost world at a posh restaurant dinner. Chances are that you will discreetly leave him to find his direction home – alone.
Face it, if you do not respect your date – then don’t be hurt by their action to leave you to your due desserts.
Give credit to your looks and dress up! In doing so it does shows respect to your date and to the occasion. Dress right and appropriately on the date, if you are going for a theme “PJ” party with your date then by ALL MEANS. Dress in your boxes – Point is; dress right. Enough said. Please get the drift as there is so much we can repeat.
On the other hand, to some of our readers, don’t wear your black power suit on the first date… very overpowering if the date is set in a causal setting like a hawker center. What if the Kopi-auntie laughs at your dressing efforts? It would be a very sad case right. Not to mentioned that your date would be present.
The last thing you want to remind your date is work; who wants to know how much paper work you need to fill up and how important you are? If you are sincere and genuinely likes your date, you want her/him to get to know you better as a person and not what you do, but who you are. (*Remember that)
So take off that coat and reveal some friendly colours or styles. This will set your date in for the romantic mode.
Colours play an important factor in expressing yourself. Some people look bright and cheerful in lime green, while others might look like a glowing string bean. Wear colours that bring out the best of your skin tone, to appear friendlier and warm.
Select clothing styles that are right for you base on your body type. Camouflage the flaws and play up your best body features. Get an image consultant to help you find your best colours, fits and styles. (*for the clueless – this helps, trust us)
It is only natural to be nervous, and to prevent yourself from yakking in fear, calm yourself down, remove the nervous vibes by having a happy song playing at the back of your mind. *Remember -- It is better to speak clearer and slower than mumble.
Adopt a “Seriously, don’t be too serious” attitude. Keep the date light and fun, happy vibes are infectious, keep laughter and smiles always and remember to keep the admiration and respect in place. After all you want your date to remember you for the good times you had together! *Note to Type-A personalities; NO ONE propose or wants to marry a date on a first date; try your best to keep it to the 10th date.
Dating is about knowing more about the other party, what they like and how they feel about things. It is also discovering your own preference. The more you date, the clearer you have in mind who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
For the end result of finding love, all the effort put forth is well worth it! Happy dating!