Online Social Event Etiquette

During the Covid19 stay-at-home period, many matchmaking agencies switched to hosting online dating to continue getting singles to socialize. 💘 To keep up with times, I have included conducting video dating events in my event facilitating class. As I was preparing my course ware, an idea bulb illuminated! 🌟 Propelling me to share these 7 tips on attending virtual meetings here. The key purpose of these suggestions is to prepare attendees to project their best self during online social event.

Image by mmi9 from Pixabay 

Getting Ready
Some people feel nervous about meeting strangers. To minimize additional stress, participants could familiarize with the conference tools, position the lighting angle and test the internet speed before the event. When people are accustomed with the tools, they will appear more relax and confident. Select a quiet environment with minimal distraction to attend the virtual dating event. Put up a "DO NOT DISTURB" signage on your door or desk to prevent your family from disrupting your meeting. Fully charge your devices first if there are no electrical points at the selected meeting spot. Participants will be talking much throughout the online dating event, prepare a bottle of water.

Optical & Audible
First impression affects the chances of being asked for a future date. Wear tastefully for this social event. Selfie-ring light helps to lit your face so the other participants can see your expressions well during virtual meetings. Close the overbearing back-light if necessary. Keep good posture and position your camera so you appear in the center of your screen. Choose a tidy and cluttered-free background. Speak clearly to the microphone instead of the screen. Silent your mobile phone to prevent incoming sound notifications. Most people have a tendency to look at the screen. Look at the camera once in a while to "maintain" eye contact with the other participants. Attendees can get overly self-conscious as they can see themselves in the video conference application. One way to reduce such tension is to focus on the camera or the other participants instead.

Be on Schedule
Being timely shows that you are a considerate and co-operative person. Be punctual and keep to the ending time of the online event.

Optimal Connectivity
Some participants had to leave the meetings abruptly due to shortage of power. Video-conferencing can drain up a lot of power from your devices. Keep the charged power banks or electrical cables nearby. Switch off unused applications on your device to keep the video running smoothly.

Be Congruous
Similar to face-to-face social meetings, be courteous, respectful and friendly. Smile. Some people get too cozy and started to slouch or lie down during the virtual meetings. It is very inappropriate on first meetings. Get a comfortable chair which can support your back when you sit up straight. Avoid using abbreviations or profanities. Sending shirtless photos of yourself to show off sculpted abs or sharing the latest offensive viral videos are no-nos too.

Conversation Plan
At this initial stage of meeting new friends, the key purpose of these interactions is to discover one another's preferences, personality, outlook and vibes. Keep the conversation topics light, natural and appropriate as this is the first meeting. Brainstorm a personal conversation listing beforehand. Apply them to keep the dialogue going or pivot from stagnation. This list is extremely useful when you are meeting singles one-on-one in breakout rooms.

Sign-offs
Video-conference software can only pick up 1 conversation a time, it get confused when there are few people talking. Participants end up hearing bits and pieces of words incoherently. To ensure every dialogue is captured smoothly, let the others be aware that you have finished your conversation with “That’s all.” “Thank you.” “Let's hear from...” This prevent awkward interruptions or silence.

Hip Singles

I was conducting a singles networking party at a hip cafe when the barista whispered to me that he is impressed that my clients are so good-looking and he is surprised that they are single!

I agree that most of them are very eligible and they are single because their social circle had shrunk since they graduated from school. Good thing is that they realized it and made the effort to enlarge their social circle by attending Clique2click social events.

Let's hope these singles find someone special this season. :)

Happy New Year! 

Friends to avoid if you want to get hitched

Friends or Foe! As much as our friends are the best wingman for us to get hitched, they can also be the worst barriers to dating. Whether you know it or not, some friends influence your attitude and behaviour towards dating.

These are the few unhealthy friend types that I have seen, sharing these so that you can prevent hindrance in your search for love.

1. Egoistic Maniac

Alpha who will put everybody down to make himself/herself look good. They would not admit that he/she needs help in any problem, including finding a future partner. He/she believes that they have the calibre for someone to just fall in love with them.

They will mock people who subscribe to dating services as they see that effort as desperate. Such attitude is so passe! Beneath the defensive shell, is the huge fear of losing face and low self-esteem. Proud people are often the most fragile and afraid to be lonely. So if you have a friend like that, do help them to get out of the singlehood by encouraging them to be tactful and socialise more. Let them know that dating events does not mean that you are desperate; it just mean that you are open to meeting like-minded people.

Their typical line:

“I don’t need dating services!”

“Isn’t it a bit too desperate to be going for dating services?”

2. Nit-Picker

People need friends who are willing to put on the “Relationship consultant” hat to offer a listening ear and most importantly; sincere dating advice for your emotional needs. Sometimes friends do offer sound advice as an objective individual.

However, you have to be careful when they start shoving their unrealistic ideals on your boyfriend or girlfriend. They often make you feel that your date is not worth your time and tend to emphasis more on his or her bad than good points. In short, he or she “ridicule” your expectations on life-partner.

Their typical line:

“If your boyfriend loves you, he will buy you that $8,889 bag!”

“If your girlfriend loves you, she will let you “geng MC” to play Dota!”

“If your partner loves you, she will reply your message in 5 minutes, even when she is at work.”

3. Moodsucker

You know the character Sadness from the movie Inside Out. Yes! Probably the only emotion in the person’s head. This character type is naturally pessimistic about things and have an ultra-negative outlook on relationships. To them, 99% of all marriages wind up in divorce. Every time you meet, they keep talking about failed relationships or marriages or XXX is homosexual, so depressing that they drain out all your hopes and joys of love. You get infected with their negativity and become closed-up to relationships. No mood to even dream about dating after every conversation with them.

Their typical line:

“All the good guys are either taken or gay“

“I’m going to die alone with 99 cats. “

4. Hinder in disguise

Although these mood suckers always say they want to get married, their actions contradict their words. Every time you meet them, they are always bringing the opposite sex down. Such friends keep reinforcing all the unappealing aspects of the opposite gender that affects your perspective on dating. 

When both of you attend social functions, he/she will hog on to you to prevent you from talking to others. Even when eligible singles approach you to try to know you, these blockers will project a repulsive body language (like rolling-their eyes or show a pitch dark face) to turn these people away. Consciously or unconsciously, they want you to stay single with them.

Their typical line:

“Guys ah, hopeless woodblocks, so clueless and insensitive to our feelings”

“Girls ah, only want to control you, don't let you drink and don't let you go out”

5. Pleasure-Seekers

These men and women usually spent like a filthy rich on sleazy pubs and bar host/hostesses. And they are not there to entertain their clients or celebrate their boss’s birthday. They patronise vices habitually to destress. They would tip these host/hostesses hundreds of dollars but would not spend a single cent on networking or dating services. They prefer to seek comfort in these host/ hostesses instead of finding a life-partner. I reckon they might be commitment-phobic, or have relationship issues with educated, independent people of the opposite gender. So they would rather burst their credit cards’ limit on host/hostesses who can satisfy their temporal need for companionship and boost their ego. They live by the motto that money can buy everything, including love. The best advice they can give you is to buy a bride. While we respect their lifestyle choice, the more you hang out with them in these places, the lesser your chance of dating good eligible singles.

Their typical line:

“Forget about dating or wooing women, let’s go to this KTV Lounge to have fun, the girls will entertain us!”

“Forget about marriage, let’s go to this host club to be pampered by cute smooth guys!”

6. Freeloaders

On evenings that are not “ladies night”, these women would hang around different tables at the bar and wait for the men buy them drinks. They regard men as tickets for free alcohol. They are more interested in getting freebies than meeting people. They main purpose to find male pleasure-seekers as mentioned above to milk as many things from them as possible. As their friend, you will have to get free drinks for them or buy them drinks.

Their typical line:

Nil. They hardly talk as they are busy drinking or fishing for freebies.

7. Nagger

The Nagger always say the same cliche lines but either don't apply the same words to themselves or they just NATO (No Action, Talk Only). If they are really concerned for your social well-being, they will try to do something constructive.

Their typical line:

“So old already, still haven't find boyfriend/ girlfriend. You want to settle down or not?”

If you realise that you are being a nagger or any one characters described above, Stop! Act on these to help your single friends instead:

• encouraging them to be positive, pro-active and open-minded to meet singles in their search for suitable life-partner
• introducing eligible bachelors or bachelorettes to them
• pointing them to loving couples who stay married, help them to see happy marriage can be achieved
•  referring them to sign up for dating services

These are what supportive friends could do, this list is not exhaustive. Feel free to comment/email me if you have more ways to help your single friends.

Sunset Marriage

Morning Interview at 958 radio station on
Parental Matchmaking & latest marriage statistic in Singapore.

I was invited for an interview on 95.8 Mandarin radio station on the topic of marriage among the Singapore elderly. Based on the recent Singapore statistics, we see double the number of marriages in people aged 60 and above compared to a decade ago.

Statistics from WHO ranked Singapore number 4 in terms of life expectancy. Most Singaporeans lived beyond 82 years old. As Singaporean singles are living longer, what better way to lead their lives in the silver age than by developing a deeper relationship with someone that they like? Greater awareness on the benefits of emotional health also motivates singles in 60s to find a life partner.

During the interview, the DJ asked if having offspring is the key motivation for my Parental matchmaking participants. From the interactions with the parents that I met in my Parental Matchmaking sessions, surprisingly, their first concern is finding their single adult children a companion; I have not heard any parents mention about getting grandchildren. These parents found happiness in their marriage and sincerely hoped their kids would be able to find love, find someone to take care of them and settle down— just like themselves.

I am very heartened these parents and silver newly-weds see the importance of love and companionship. They didn’t give up searching despite their age. I encourage the silver singles to continue enlarge their social circle so as to meet someone suitable, caring and trustworthy.

We are conducting an event for singles age 35 and above on 15th December 2015. We welcome singles of this age range to join us! Our participants are Singaporeans, Permanent residents and Employment Pass holders. Please click here to find out more!

 

Happy Birthday Singapore

After running singles events in Singapore for the last 10 years, I was given the opportunity to run singles events in Malaysia and Indonesia this year. I get to meet many wonderful eligible Malaysian and Indonesian singles who had stayed in Singapore for education or work before. One consistent thing they always say— Oh! You from Singapore? Singapore is VERY GOOD!!! 

I feel proud that my country is highly commendable by others and I am genuinely thankful to be part of it! :) 

On Singapore's 50th National Day celebration, I pray that Singapore continue to thrive with peace and prosperity for another 50 years and more! May our leaders be blessed with wisdom plus favor with Singaporeans and other nations. And every Singaporeans enjoy safety, health, wealth and happiness!!!

Caught a glimpse of Golden Jubilee parade while
conducting a Kayaking event for the singles in Singapore.