WeddingRenewal

My parents didn't bump to each other in the library. They were not childhood sweethearts from the same Kampong. Neither did they meet in the midst of war or calamities. Really nothing dramatic like most soap operas. They simply met each other through a matchmaker, exchanged rings on their first meeting and arranged for a simple wedding thereafter. They were not sure about love then but willing to give each other a try. 

Fast forward to more than half a century later— after raising 4 children and having 5 grandchildren; amidst ups and downs, toils and tears— they are now damn sure they are in love with each other. Today, they celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary and renewed their wedding vows— ever more committed and looking forward to more years together as husband and wife. And this is their love story. Love is something that grow with time unlike most movies.

PS: Dad and Mum, I am so proud of both of you. I am glad to be your offspring. Without your boldness to try, my siblings and I won’t be around. Love you both! Muacks!!!

7 Film-Inspired Expressions of Love

7 Film-Inspired Expressions of Love

Discover your partner’s secret love lingo, and radically transform your couple life.

Ever wondered why you are unable to win the heart of your love interest, or why your long-term relationship seems to be stagnating? If you have been working hard at your relationship to no avail, your language of love may be lost in translation.  

While love is a universal need, each of us speaks and understands it differently. The trick is to learn what works best for your partner.

Each person has a few preferred ways of expressing and experiencing love. Learning your partner’s love lingo will help you better appreciate everyday gestures. It will also enable you to better express your love effectively and build a deeper sense of intimacy.

By analysing some of the best romantic movies of our times, we show you how to crack the love code. You will be surprised at how much more fulfilling your relationship can be.

#1 ACTS OF LOVE

Movie Inspiration: The Intern

New-age stay-at-home dad Matt gives up his career to support his wife Jules while she builds her e-commerce fashion empire. This good-looking SNAG cooks, cleans and cares for their daughter.

While most of us don’t have the luxury of quitting our jobs to support our partner’s dreams, small daily acts of kindness is one of the key ways practical people express love. It could be something as run-of-the-mill as ironing clothes, brewing herbal soup or taking the initiative to wash the family car.

If you are on the receiving end of such acts of love, be sure to show appreciation. More importantly, make an effort to reciprocate, and do it with love. This is especially relevant to husbands and boyfriends, since women still tend to do more household chores and shoulder more childcare responsibilities. In fact, some studies suggest that men who help out with household chores enjoy more and better sex.

#2 WORDS OF LOVE

Movie Inspiration: Shakespeare in Love

This film explores the fictitious and forbidden love between William Shakespeare and a noble woman Viola. Viola’s love for literature and theatre, as well as Shakespeare’s poetic love declarations create instant sparks.

There is tremendous power in constantly and openly affirming each other, especially for people who prefer to express and experience love verbally. Of course, not everyone is comfortable with dramatic love declarations, so there is really no need to recite a sonnet. A simple ‘I love you’ in the morning or at night can do wonders for your relationship.

Be generous with your compliments as well. If your partner looks wonderful in a new haircut or outfit, be sure to point it out. Or, if he cooks your favourite dish and picks you up at work, make it a point to tell him how much you appreciate it.

#3 INTELLECTUAL CONNECTION

via GIPHY

Movie Inspiration: Before Sunrise
Can you fall madly in love with a stranger? Apparently you can. Jesse and Céline meet on a train departing from Budapest and strike up a conversation. They end up spending the night roaming Vienna, and talking about love, religion and life. By the end of the night, they have fallen in love.

We are all drawn to people we naturally ‘click’ with. However, for intellectual types who appreciate witty banter, humour and the exchange of ideas, such connections are extremely important.

If your partner fits the bill, it is vital to engage him or her regularly. Discuss ideas, find common grounds, understand each other’s quirks, and don’t be afraid to tease and banter with each other good-naturedly. Making an effort to read widely also helps you remain intellectual equals and provides fodder for meaningful conversations.

#4 THOUGHTFUL GIFTS 

Movie Inspiration: The Terminal

Viktor, a Krakozhia refugee stranded at JFK International Airport, falls in love with a beautiful flight attendant Amelia. To woo her, he orchestrates an intimate dinner, and even miraculously constructs a majestic fountain with materials gathered at the airport.

Gifts can be powerful expression of love for some. But don’t max out your credit card on designer goods just yet. Take a leaf from Tom Hank’s character in The Terminal – a gift doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant as long as it is thoughtful.

Word of advice: since people in this category tend to value the time and effort put into gifting, don’t get lazy and just grab a gift voucher. Surprise your partner with tickets when his favourite band is in town, or present her with a rose during special occasions such as your dating or marriage anniversary. For extra brownie points, make time for gift-wrapping!

#5 TOUCH OF AFFECTION

Movie Inspiration: Ghost
In case you haven’t watched this oldie, it tells the story of a happy couple Sam and Molly who are suddenly separated when Sam is murdered. He returns as a ghost, and struggles to communicate with Molly who can no longer see, hear or feel him.

For some people, a gentle touch on the shoulder, pat on the back, hug and kiss can be extremely meaningful. It conveys physical affection and intimacy. It can also be very reassuring and help your partner feel secure in your love.

Do not confuse this with sex though – in fact, most of your interactions may not even take place in the bedroom. It could be something as simple as sitting close to each other while watching television, giving each other goodbye kisses or hugs every day, or holding hands. If you did not grow up in a family that practises such physical proximity, it might take some adjustments to make yourself available and accessible to your partner, but it will be well worth it.

#6 BONDING TIME

Movie Inspiration: Up

Who can forget the poignant and heartbreaking first 10 minutes of Up when Ellie and Carl met and fell in love? There were no noisy declarations or dramatic demonstrations of love. It was quiet, old-fashion love – they simply did everything together and grew old together.

Spending time to connect as a couple is extremely important for some. This could be as clichéd as having a date night every week, enjoying an evening walk together, cooking together, or enjoying a nightcap together daily.

Remember, the key is to ensure that you are spending quality time as a couple. In other words, turn off your smart phone, put down your iPad, and give each other undivided attention.

#7 SEXUAL INTIMACY

  

Movie Inspiration: No Strings Attached

As its name suggests, this movie is about two friends, Emma and Adam, who agree to be sex buddies with no strings attached. Naturally, they fail and end up falling head over heels for each other.

Sex is an important part of most relationships – it helps to keep the spark alive between couples so that they don’t start to see each other as roommates or friends over time. For some, it is also vital to convey love, acceptance and affirmation.

That said, don’t see sex as an obligation. Spice up your sex life by trying it in different places, experimenting with different positions, or even investing in some fun sex toys such as a fluffy handcuff or blindfold. Some excitement in the bedroom can create a deeper sense of intimacy and trust, and establish a stronger connection with your partner.

Hope this 7 expressions of love re-ignite your romance!

Friends to avoid if you want to get hitched

Friends or Foe! As much as our friends are the best wingman for us to get hitched, they can also be the worst barriers to dating. Whether you know it or not, some friends influence your attitude and behaviour towards dating.

These are the few unhealthy friend types that I have seen, sharing these so that you can prevent hindrance in your search for love.

1. Egoistic Maniac

Alpha who will put everybody down to make himself/herself look good. They would not admit that he/she needs help in any problem, including finding a future partner. He/she believes that they have the calibre for someone to just fall in love with them.

They will mock people who subscribe to dating services as they see that effort as desperate. Such attitude is so passe! Beneath the defensive shell, is the huge fear of losing face and low self-esteem. Proud people are often the most fragile and afraid to be lonely. So if you have a friend like that, do help them to get out of the singlehood by encouraging them to be tactful and socialise more. Let them know that dating events does not mean that you are desperate; it just mean that you are open to meeting like-minded people.

Their typical line:

“I don’t need dating services!”

“Isn’t it a bit too desperate to be going for dating services?”

2. Nit-Picker

People need friends who are willing to put on the “Relationship consultant” hat to offer a listening ear and most importantly; sincere dating advice for your emotional needs. Sometimes friends do offer sound advice as an objective individual.

However, you have to be careful when they start shoving their unrealistic ideals on your boyfriend or girlfriend. They often make you feel that your date is not worth your time and tend to emphasis more on his or her bad than good points. In short, he or she “ridicule” your expectations on life-partner.

Their typical line:

“If your boyfriend loves you, he will buy you that $8,889 bag!”

“If your girlfriend loves you, she will let you “geng MC” to play Dota!”

“If your partner loves you, she will reply your message in 5 minutes, even when she is at work.”

3. Moodsucker

You know the character Sadness from the movie Inside Out. Yes! Probably the only emotion in the person’s head. This character type is naturally pessimistic about things and have an ultra-negative outlook on relationships. To them, 99% of all marriages wind up in divorce. Every time you meet, they keep talking about failed relationships or marriages or XXX is homosexual, so depressing that they drain out all your hopes and joys of love. You get infected with their negativity and become closed-up to relationships. No mood to even dream about dating after every conversation with them.

Their typical line:

“All the good guys are either taken or gay“

“I’m going to die alone with 99 cats. “

4. Hinder in disguise

Although these mood suckers always say they want to get married, their actions contradict their words. Every time you meet them, they are always bringing the opposite sex down. Such friends keep reinforcing all the unappealing aspects of the opposite gender that affects your perspective on dating. 

When both of you attend social functions, he/she will hog on to you to prevent you from talking to others. Even when eligible singles approach you to try to know you, these blockers will project a repulsive body language (like rolling-their eyes or show a pitch dark face) to turn these people away. Consciously or unconsciously, they want you to stay single with them.

Their typical line:

“Guys ah, hopeless woodblocks, so clueless and insensitive to our feelings”

“Girls ah, only want to control you, don't let you drink and don't let you go out”

5. Pleasure-Seekers

These men and women usually spent like a filthy rich on sleazy pubs and bar host/hostesses. And they are not there to entertain their clients or celebrate their boss’s birthday. They patronise vices habitually to destress. They would tip these host/hostesses hundreds of dollars but would not spend a single cent on networking or dating services. They prefer to seek comfort in these host/ hostesses instead of finding a life-partner. I reckon they might be commitment-phobic, or have relationship issues with educated, independent people of the opposite gender. So they would rather burst their credit cards’ limit on host/hostesses who can satisfy their temporal need for companionship and boost their ego. They live by the motto that money can buy everything, including love. The best advice they can give you is to buy a bride. While we respect their lifestyle choice, the more you hang out with them in these places, the lesser your chance of dating good eligible singles.

Their typical line:

“Forget about dating or wooing women, let’s go to this KTV Lounge to have fun, the girls will entertain us!”

“Forget about marriage, let’s go to this host club to be pampered by cute smooth guys!”

6. Freeloaders

On evenings that are not “ladies night”, these women would hang around different tables at the bar and wait for the men buy them drinks. They regard men as tickets for free alcohol. They are more interested in getting freebies than meeting people. They main purpose to find male pleasure-seekers as mentioned above to milk as many things from them as possible. As their friend, you will have to get free drinks for them or buy them drinks.

Their typical line:

Nil. They hardly talk as they are busy drinking or fishing for freebies.

7. Nagger

The Nagger always say the same cliche lines but either don't apply the same words to themselves or they just NATO (No Action, Talk Only). If they are really concerned for your social well-being, they will try to do something constructive.

Their typical line:

“So old already, still haven't find boyfriend/ girlfriend. You want to settle down or not?”

If you realise that you are being a nagger or any one characters described above, Stop! Act on these to help your single friends instead:

• encouraging them to be positive, pro-active and open-minded to meet singles in their search for suitable life-partner
• introducing eligible bachelors or bachelorettes to them
• pointing them to loving couples who stay married, help them to see happy marriage can be achieved
•  referring them to sign up for dating services

These are what supportive friends could do, this list is not exhaustive. Feel free to comment/email me if you have more ways to help your single friends.