25 October 2013

Carnivore Women

I was back to MediaCorp to share my views on Carnivore women 肉食女 yesterday morning.

Carnivore women 肉食女 is a term coined to ladies born after 1980 who are diligent, goal-getters,  with successful careers. It originated from Japan. They adopt the work hard and play hard mentality and dislike wasting time. When Carnivore women are attracted to a guy, they boldly give chase.

With 2 bright and bubbly hosts of Channel 8's Good Morning Singapore.

Although Carnivore women are highly sought after by head-hunters, they are shunned socially, especially by men.

My casual collection of opinions from both gender  revealed Carnivore women are viewed as egoistic, outspoken, demanding, controlling and tough to get along. Some of interviewees would prefer to stay away from them, so as not to step on their tails lest risk getting in trouble with these Tigresses. I feel for Carnivore women as the flipside of standing out is being isolated and left alone.

One lady called the program hotline and commented "nothing wrong with being Carnivore women". There is nothing wrong with being smart and successful. In fact, I respect Carnivore women’s guts, brains and drive. Emotionally, they are just as human and vulnerable as anyone.

Possible reasons why ladies become Carnivore:

1. As our city gets more and more competitive, these ladies feel insecure and push themselves to excel so as to survive in their jobs. As such, they become very tense and determined to succeed.
2. Their parents favour sons than daughters; hence these girls seek achievements in school and workplace to prove their parents wrong.
3. They had been sexually discriminated before at their workplace, so they strive harder to validate their worth.
4. They are born with high ability and pride themselves as being successful since school days. They have not lost before and cannot bear to face losing. They feel the pressure to be on par or better than their contemporaries.

Due to their character or background, Carnivore women give themselves a lot of expectations and unnecessary pressures. It is not easy to be who they are. I hope that people will see them as someone who needs love and friends as well.

Dating Tips for Men who are interested in Carnivore women

Be confident of yourself, some of these ladies seems intimidating but are wise, reasonable and kind at heart. These ladies are looking for a relationship, not to EAT you up!

Ladies love men with humour, wit and conversational skills. Brush up on these areas and social skills as well.

How Carnivorous are ladies in Singapore?

In Singapore, most of the high achiever ladies are not full-fledged Carnivores. They might be aggressive in their career, but in dating, they are still very traditional and passive – they expect men to make the first move and earn more than them.

Some of these ladies dress very sexily, yet they put up an unapproachable front. Guys are confused with the mixed signals these girls project. They wonder if they should approach these ladies.

I feel that Singapore ladies have Carnivore tendencies but "Omnivore" at heart. As Singaporeans, we are less extreme compared to other nationalities. We would prefer to adopt a more moderate position socially.

Can Carnivore women become herbivore?

Yes. A wise woman knows the suitable hat to wear for different situation. I have seen high-fliers career women who act like a tigress at workplace, but become an adorable kitten in front of their hubby. They know when to affirm, pamper and be coy to him.

Should Carnivore women focus on dating Herbivore men?

Carnivore women + Herbivore men – this formula compliments both party. It works well when both could accept each other's strength and weaknesses. Another caller asked if Carnivore ladies could accept a house husband. If the husband is better at housekeeping and wife is better at her job, it is practical to let the wife continue to shine in her career. Whatever works for you and your spouse to maintain your nest. This should also not seem strange as developed societies continue to narrow gender inequality.

4 Dating Tips for Carnivore women

Remove unrealistic expectations that have been placed on yourself. Forget about peer, society or family pressures in the evolving society of great freedom and decreasing gender barriers. Find out what your heart needs in a relationship. Would you prefer to be with a gentleman who makes you smile? Or a bore that earns more than you?

Being approachable, open-minded, polite and easy-going are desirable traits. Learn to relax, enjoy the date and let the connections flow naturally. On first few meeting, do not interrogate guys for their background or assets.

It is perfectly alright to initiate and ask a guy that you like out for a date. Avoid being too direct to express your desire or too eager to "seal the deal". Be patient and prudent to get to know each other first. You are finding a partner not a pair of shoes at the department store.

Embrace the truth that the outlook and attitude which works for your career does not work for relationship. Learn to compromise and be a caring, gracious and supportive lover. Activities like knitting and belly-dancing could bring out the gentle sensual side of you. Being able to achieve a balance in personality behaviour will help you to integrate better with others and that special person you are looking to spend the rest of your life with.

17 October 2013

Herbivore Men

It was my honour to be invited to the mandarin morning talk show 早安你好 at MediaCorp again. This time, we spoke about 草食男, Herbivore men or grass-eating men. Here is the content that I've prepared for the show:

草食男 is a term to describe a group of urban young men (age 30 and below) who are fashionable, well-groomed and neat. They are gentle, polite, prudent, image and health conscious. Besides being nice, educated and attuned to emotional needs, they treasure their personal time and love to spend it with their loved ones, hobbies and grooming. They will not hesitate to get a gym membership but turn passive when it comes to relationship and career.

Causes of  "Herbivore men" in Singapore
Usually Herbivore men stay with their self-sufficient parents, and need not strive for survival. Like tigers in the zoo, these men grew up in a well-fed and protected environment. Hence they lost their hunting skills, aggressiveness and motivation to expand their territory.

Caged creatures could not activate their prowess.

Herbivore men are comfortable and contented with their current state of life. In Singapore, due to high cost of apartments, inflation and tougher competition for jobs, these men become more careful when making long term financial commitments. Herbivore men are not used to risks and thus, more cautious to take up challenges.

I have spoken to many local bachelors who fit the description of Herbivore men. But they are not totally adverse to relationship, marriage or having their own kids. As new-age sensitive guys, they recognize the need to have a life-partner, the importance of family and the joy of having children. Deep down, they sincerely wish to get married eventually. However they may not ready to face the uncertainties and burdens of marriage.

Do Herbivore men make a good life partner?
Yes. They make a good husband as they respect women, willing to listen and value family time. They are excellent shopping, cooking and travel companion.

4 As for ladies who are interested to date a Herbivore man:

Be friendly, pro-active yet not forceful. Feel free to initiate and ask him out based on activities that he is interested in. Eg: shopping at a new boutique. During the show, 2 concerned mothers of Herbivore men called to encourage ladies to approach these passive men. Even mothers support this idea!

Since he is mindful of his own image, it is only logical that he wants to be with a presentable lady. Being spiffy will leave him a good impression plus wanting to date you more!

Accept his lifestyle, spending habits and career choice. Adjust your expectations when you love a Herbivore man. If both of you are working and planning to wed, be ready to support the house, wedding and family expenses together. He will appreciate your understanding. Being too princessy, materialistic or demanding will not make anyone a good life partner.

Be patient, supportive and encouraging. Give him the courage to take the new responsibilities in life confidently. Avoid criticizing or comparing him with other men. Be a committed partner who can wave the storms and smell the roses with him. Once he has the confidence in you, he will consider asking you to be spend the rest of his life with you!   

I will share about Carnivore women next week.

2 October 2013


ROM moments captured on 9th September 2013

Our wedding reception at Clarke Quay. We kept it as a small simple party,
sorry that we could not invite everyone.

The precious ring-bearer


Worship time

The marriage begins...

While our witnesses are signing the papers...

The official ROM symbols - taken by the talented lady friend on the last photo

We are blessed to have sincere caring friends who share our load and happiness

Seal with a kiss

Unity Sands Ceremony

Symbol of 2 individuals coming together as 1

Flowers to appreciate our Mummies

Gourmet chocolates for our Daddies

Wedding cheer signage created by yours truly

Bridesmaids celebrating love at the DIY photo-booth

Our wedding photographer - Steven of Destined Moments
He captured the emotions so beautifully!

Traditional wedding shoes - 
My Mum wore them to marry my Dad about half a decade ago!

Tea-ceremony - a time to give and take Angbaos

First-time giving out Angbaos as adults

One of the wonderful friends we had who share the joy of our wedding

Thank God we have a cozy, smooth and delightful wedding ceremony!