31 March 2013

Who needs a holiday?

A facebook quote sparked this post.  

"Instead of wondering where your next vacation is, maybe you ought to set up a life you don't need to escape from." ~ Seth Godin

This reminds of my discussion with a workaholic friend. He enjoys his job tremendously and shared how puzzled he is by people who is constantly looking towards holiday. Another guy said he is very weary of dating girls who are always out of the country for vacations on every long weekend. He does not understand why they are so upset with their life that they have to opt for escape with every chance.

We were not referring to of people who travel once or thrice a year to experience adventure, explore a new culture, get new inspiration or experiencing fun family time. Neither are we referring to expats who wants to maximise their time and proximity to explore other parts of Asia while they are in Singapore. Nor retirees who have the time and  money to travel around the world.

Here, we are referring to a group who could be stressed, unhappy or bored with their current life to the extent they always feel the need to escape out of their country to feel SANE.

These "escapists" may be leading a miserable life due to the following:

1. They are ego-driven — having the continual need to win, put others down or boast about themselves in order to feel moments of superiority. While they might be successful in their careers, the price of expressing their egos too readily leaves them feeling really lonely and unloved. This feeds into the vicious cycle of making them suspicious, untrusting and unloving which will ultimately cause them to feel emotionally tensed and tired.
2. They are always fending off attacks from people in point 1 at the workplace. Their workload is beyond them. However, due to other commitments, they dare not leave their jobs. They require holidays to relax their defences.
3. People with family issues to handle. They feel they can't let go of their responsibilities emotionally. Eg: Caregivers. They seriously need holidays to prevent being burnt out.
4. People who finds crowded city life too tough to cope.
5. People with low self-esteem who lack the ability to connect with others and themselves on a deeper level. They crave for holidays or entertainment to fill the emptiness in their lives.

If such is the lives they lead, they will need to find ways of escaping.

Some might argue traveling is fun, we travel while we are young and mobile. But adventures, new experiences and challenges come in many forms. Learning to play a new musical instrument, foreign language or sports can be fun, healthy and exciting too. So actually there is no need to go overseas to get it. Once in a while, a trip for a refreshing change/inspiration is perfectly fine. But if someone has to go for holidays constantly to "escape", then there might be a deeper void inside that one has to look into, besides the financial one. One might even start by thinking about a staycation as an option and as a good way to question yourself the need to go overseas..

Before we spend thousands of dollars on holidays, what we might really need is a mirror. I liken a good life coach as a mirror. A mirror to reflect who we are. A life coach would encourage us, teach us ways to manage stress, build our sense of emotional well-being, broaden our mindset and guide us to discover our happiness in life. Our joys and passion are best developed when we understand ourselves better.

Besides engaging a life coach for an one on one coaching sessions. There are other ways to self-discovery:
1. Feedback from honest, kind and wise close friends and family members
2. Divine revelation from God
3. Self-improvement workshops
4. Personality tests
5. DNA fingerprint test

Once we know our personality, motivation and talent, we are able to find passion, confidence and joy.

In future, prior to bursting our hard-earned money or exhausting ourselves from tight and tiring overseas holidays, do consider what we really need. Is it a holiday, a change or a reflection?

13 March 2013

Confession of Murder

Confession of Murder

Thriller movie review from a lady's perspective

Cool Factor:
Be WOW-ed with comic-styled cinematography, gripping plot and charming Koreans!

Movie Synopsis:
Through their starkly different characters, Jung Jae-young and Park Si-hoo make a good combination to fuel the pace in this thriller movie. 17 years after a serial killer case for 10 unsolved murders of innocent women,  a man comes out to publish a book confessing to the crime in vivid detail. Under the 15-year statute of limitations, as the crime was never solved, the proclaimed murderer cannot be charged. The detective in-charge of the case, whose ex-girlfriend was also one of the victim, confronts and challenges the author that he is but an opportunistic imposter on TV. The murderer through the series of media coverage, receives bizzare cult status with a strong idol following by the female population in South Korea... As the debates progress, the plot takes many twists which will surprise the audience till the very end. (NC16)

Win-win combination of talented lead and supporting casts!
~ Jung Jae-young plays the unintelligent looking and uncouth detective Detective Choi who turns out to be more as the plot progresses.
~ Park Si-hoo is the proclaimed author of "I am the Murderer"  and murderer. In the world of Korean MTV-styled movies, it would not be complete without attractive actors and actresses. As said in the movie, you have to be stunningly handsome to claim commit a crime these days.
~ Min Ji-ah plays supporting cast as Detective Choi’s murdered girlfriend, to fill the place of the adorable looking actress in this movie.

Action, humor, touching moments, romance, anger as well as a nice change of rhythm throughout, make it an easy 2 hours session of entertainment to pass. Your girlfriend will probably hold your hand in some of scenes due to the suspense and the tender moments.  When you leave the cinema, this movie will leave both of you something to chat about and build a closer relationship with one another.

Be warned that some of chase scenes are intentionally shot with disorienting camerawork which may cause nauseous discomfort to you or your partner. So if either of you have adverse reactions to jarring movements, do choose seats further from the movie screen.

Lydia's Ratings:
7.5 out of 10 stars.

Release Date:
Singapore – 14 March 2013, Thursday