Appreciate Good Bosses

 

The pandemic has created huge debts and bankruptcy. Many of our friends and family are out of work and unemployed with many businesses now out of service. 

I have spoken to many of my business owner friends, they are struggling to survive and keep their full-time staffs. They could have chosen the easy route to fold but they are determine to stay in the business to provide for the staffs' livelihood. Their grit, kindness and integrity is admirable!

If the company you work for continues, no pay reduction or retrenchments; give respect for what the owner(s) must be going through to keep it going. 2020 is about survival, leave the daily complaints and anything else minor behind. Be thankful and show respect for what you have. Work hard and show your boss/owner/company the appreciation they need and deserve.


#pandemic2020
#appreciate
#appreciateboss

#thankfultobeemployed

Happy Teacher's Day

Traditionally, we celebrate Teacher's Day in academic school only. Nowadays people continue learning after they leave school. People attend classes to pick up new industry knowledge, trending hobby, foreign language, life skills and executive coaching to sharpen their management abilities.

Wikipedia defines Teacher is a person who helps others to acquire knowledge, competences or values. Based on this, teacher go beyond academic setting which could include career development and personal growth as well. The trainers, mentors and coaches in adult-learning put in as much research, energy and passion as any teachers in school. We give our best to be an educator who informs, illuminates and inspires students to reach their goals.

This coming Teacher's Day, I wish more and more learners would include trainers, coaches and mentors in their Teacher's Day greetings or celebration as well. 😊

With this, I wish to dedicate this meaningful day to all my fellow trainers, coaches and teachers. Be blessed with the joy and strength to shine every hearts. Have a very fulfilling Teacher's Day!

Happy Birthday Singapore

After running singles events in Singapore for the last 10 years, I was given the opportunity to run singles events in Malaysia and Indonesia this year. I get to meet many wonderful eligible Malaysian and Indonesian singles who had stayed in Singapore for education or work before. One consistent thing they always say— Oh! You from Singapore? Singapore is VERY GOOD!!! 

I feel proud that my country is highly commendable by others and I am genuinely thankful to be part of it! :) 

On Singapore's 50th National Day celebration, I pray that Singapore continue to thrive with peace and prosperity for another 50 years and more! May our leaders be blessed with wisdom plus favor with Singaporeans and other nations. And every Singaporeans enjoy safety, health, wealth and happiness!!!

Caught a glimpse of Golden Jubilee parade while
conducting a Kayaking event for the singles in Singapore.

Lee Kuan Yew

Words are inadequate to express our sorrow at the lost of Singapore's great founder Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

Even though, there are 18 venues to honor Mr Lee. Thousands of Singaporeans chose to brave the heat, humidity and hunger; standing in queue for as long as 10 hours to pay their last respect to Mr Lee Kuan Yew at the Parliament House. Some came after a long tiring day at work/school, just to see him for a few seconds and rushed back to work/school in the morning. Young families brought their toddlers along to express gratitude to Mr Lee's sacrifice to build Singapore. While others came in wheelchairs. The depth of emotions was overwhelming yet the queue was orderly.

As we show our love to our founding father, the love shines forth...

Corporations distributing umbrellas, food and drinks to the lengthy queue. And commoners simply helping others to ease their load. A friend just shared "In my queue was a mother carrying a 9-10 years old boy on her shoulders, I think the child was over aged, hence no priority queue. She must be super stretched but she soldiered on. Amazing! Strangers helped to carry her bag to ease her burden." 

40 years as a Singaporean, I have never seen the Singapore Spirit so vivid, united and strong before! Now I am really proud to call myself a Singaporean.

Sand Castle at East Coast

Rest in Peace Mr Lee. You have already done what you could to make Singapore what it is. And I know you will be even more proud of your citizens today. We see grace and gratitude from the queue to honor you. We have evolved to be the first class citizen that you have hoped for. May the Singapore Spirit lives on!

Qualities of good lover

Often, people would associate a desirable partner as someone young, pretty and well-endowed. Based on my years of relationship coaching and matchmaking, I find that physical attractiveness has little to do with keeping the long term relationship alive. After asking many happy couples on the essentials required to keep their lengthy relationship glowing, I gathered 9 attractive characteristics that good lovers embrace:

1. Faithful 

Adultery cuts the heart deeply. A good lover recognises the drastic effects of betrayal. As they cherish you, they try their best to protect your heart from being hurt. They give you the priority and commitment as their spouse.

2. Assuring

They reaffirm their love through words and actions. When you have done something wrong unintentionally, they are not over critical or condemning. They are gracious to give you the safety net to be imperfect. Besides accepting you for who you are, they make an effort to demonstrate their love, eg: cooking your favorite oxtail stew and giving you a massage after a tiring day.

3. Respect

• Personal choices
  Good lovers respect your choice. They will not force you to change your preference or do anything against your will. 
• Feelings
  As they would listen patiently without passing mean judgemental remarks; you know you could share your views and feelings with ease. They care enough to cushion their words with kindness so as to prevent hurting your feelings. They appreciate the efforts you have put in for them with encouraging words.
• Honor
  They sincerely honor you in their communications with you, they treat you with respect and love; not just in public but in private as well. I have a relative who would smile sweetly and agrees with her husband in public’s eye. Weather would turn completely when others are not around— She becomes cold and demanding toward him.
• Exclusive relationship
  They give you reverence by mentioning you to opposite gender whom they have just met. I've noticed people who evade their marital status so they could flirt around as if they are single and available.
• Ties
  They treat your friends and family with respect. They are supportive to attend social occasions together with you.

4. Trust

Partners with confidence in you would give you space to pursue your hobbies and enjoy some time alone. In the stressful city, you need time out to connect with yourself or your buddies. Good lovers are understanding but not self-absorbed in their insecurities.

5. Affectionate

Hugging is the simplest way to build people up emotionally.  Valuable lovers understand humans physical need to feel accepted and hug their partner liberally. My hubby and I give each other a number of loving hugs every day. We enjoy every magical moment of our embrace. In addition, we feel lighter and happier after each hug.

Good lovers are not detached or distant; they are comfortable to hold your hands or hug you without sex in their agenda.  They are more than willing to show the world their love for you and spend quality time with you too.

6. Stable

Being emotionally healthy; they are able to communicate their thoughts and feelings peacefully without staging any “drama”. In other words, they do not spite, wail, scream, threaten or slam things to get their point across. They avoid actions which are destructive to the relationship.

7. Teachable

They are open to evaluate themselves, listen to feedback, willing to learn new ways to better themselves and try new things to add sizzle to the relationship. Neither stubborn or self-centred, they have good self-esteem and humbleness to know they do not have to win every conversation. They are willing to compromise for the benefit of the relationship. And thoughtful enough to buy you a new wallet when they see that it's worn out. 

8. Responsible

They are involved in the home-making, holiday planning and parenting. They take care of their health and spend within their means. They are mature to carry themselves well and are there for you when needed. 

9. Humour

Humour is a amazing tool that helps people to relax and connect. Good lovers would joke and cheer you up at the end of day. You enjoy their sense of humour and they enjoy hearing your laughter. Most importantly, both of you are able to relax and revel in each other’s presence.

Please note that you do not need to have all these factors to have a wonderful lasting relationship. These are common points that I've found from my observations and discussions with couples. The keys to loving relationship are not exhaustive. 

Happy Earth Day

Thank God for this wonderful home call earth. It houses about 7 billion people.

God bless our one and only earth! 

Let's do our part to keep it beautiful, peaceful and safe!

Fulfilling-Relationship

Hope you have found your fulfilling relationship!
Happy Friday 13!

A Simple Life

Movie Review from a caregiver's perspective

A Simple Life/桃姐/Sister Peach
Starring Andy Lau & Deanie Yip
Language: Mandarin with English & Chinese substitles

This reality of old age and death is something that glamour addicted silverscreen movie goers should avoid. Even the award-winning movie The Green Mile only manages to brush the surface on this subject. But in A Simple Life, director Ann Hui explores this subject subtly with depth and pockets of humour. It is quietly touching yet powerfully real… so real that the melodramatic scenes expected in a typical commercial film is unnecessary.

The only good thing about Tao-Jie’s stroke is bridging Roger and her closer. Without domestic help and a nagging voice at home, Roger learnt to be more appreciative of Tao-Jie. In the process of taking care of her, it strengthened the affinity between them. In fact, he was more attached to her than with his own mother. Tao-Jie is blessed to have Roger to cushion her sunset days with kindness, financial support and humour.

I could so empathise with how Roger the caregiver felt. My mum and I became closer when she suffered a stroke as well. After the stroke, mum was hospitalised and was unable to speak for weeks. I visited her in the hospital almost daily, applied moisturizer on her hands, lip balm on her dry lips caused by the air-con and prayed with her. She couldn’t speak then but look at me with gratitude. Mum has since recovered and is back home, she is able to speak and walk a little. Now, my siblings and I made regular effort to bring my parents out for dates. We appreciate every moment spent with them. Sincerely thank God that mum does not have to stay in the hospice like Tao-Jie.

I didn’t cry during the movie, but teared on the way driving home. In hind sight, I felt it must have been really tough for the caregivers to shoulder this burden, especially alone. They have to cope with stresses of career and family, bring in the dough to foot the medical bills and face the fear of losing their loved ones. In addition, it can be frustrating when dealing with old folks’ stubbornness— mainly caused by their inability to verbalise their vulnerability, pride and hopelessness. The old, invalid and sickly can be refered to the professionals, social welfare and charities for help. But who can the caregivers turn to for emotional support? For caregivers who are single, what happens when their “baby” is gone (death or senile)? Deep down, they must have wondered who will support them when it’s their turn to face the solitude of declining years.

This is a thought-provoking movie that resonates with people with aging, dependent and ill family member; it tacitly unveiled social issues of baby-boomers and the truths of Hong Kong hospice services. Definitely deserves many awards!

Date-friendly:
Although the movie is pleasantly filmed, this topic might be a little too heavy for first 3 dates.

Tips:
If possible, catch the Cantonese version as the essence of the Hong Kong culture will be better captured.

Lydia's Ratings:
8 out of 10 stars.

Release Date:
Singapore - 8 Mar 2012, Thursday

Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMCoxooxQoI

Journey

A lady posted this catchy quotation on her Facebook.

Forget about the pursuit of happiness. That way lies grief. Concentrate on the happiness of pursuit.

This is a quotation from the book "Psychology of Happiness", the author saw this quotation on a poster.

Thumbs up Hi-5* agree with this statement!
Too many times, we get too goal-oriented that we forgot to smell the roses that God has planted along the way.

This is especially real in relationships. Parents get so sucked into the system of "meritocrazy", kept pushing the kids for results that they miss the innocent fun of childhood. Couples get so engrossed in planning the perfect wedding, end up quarrelling and spoilt the joy of doing things together. Singles get so determined to win the most eligible mate that they kill the romance away.

Meritocracy is an ideology, perfect wedding only happens in fairy tales, eligibility is set by peers and society. Why let someone's ideology, someone's stories, someone's definition affect your pursuit of happiness?

I am not encouraging people to get distracted, go off course or lost direction. When we enjoy the journey, it lightens the stress of winning/losing. The irony is when we enjoy the process, we increase the possibility of winning! Eg: ladies has to enjoy talking with you before she will agree to go on dates with you right?!

All we have to do is take a step back. Breathe. Hear our heart's desire (Hint: usually it is simple, like spending a little quality time with our loved ones). Appreciate whatever we have and enjoy the scenery! Oh.. We might catch the rainbow along the way! J

How to be free from negativity?

I observed that negative people tend to dwell on their negative emotions. They reason why they should feel this way to keep the lousy feelings brewing. As they are negative, they tend to mix with like-minded people and it does not help elevate their situation.

When dealing with negative clients (from LoveAgain.sg), I ask the following:

• Does being negative improve any of your issues?
• Does it earn you more money?
• Does it make you attractive and approachable?
• Does it bring success in your relationships?
• Does it benefit your health?

When they recognised their negativity and are determined to remove this mind-set. I would suggest the following to free it.

1. Outdoor
Go out door and appreciate God's creation. Do simple outdoor exercises like jogging, swimming or simply take a stroll. Bask in sunshine, smell the roses and enjoy the sceneries! When we exercise (in moderation according to our stamina), we feel lighter, healthier and happier.

2. Hobbies

Pick up hobbies and sign up for events (CliqueWise.sg has variety of lifestyle events for both singles and public) that we always wished to try. Keep an open mind to acquire new knowledge/ skills/ experience. Put away the kiasu hat— the stress to win. Just enjoy the classes/ activities and feel the sense of accomplishment for gaining something new. In addition, we get to meet new friends alias activity partners to keep our leisure time occupied!

3. Appreciation

Visit an old-age home, terminally-ill patients in hospital or orphanage, and we learn to be thankful of whatever we have. If this doesn't rekindle any sense of appreciation, consider changing a new heart. :P

4. Food

We need food to stay alive. Likewise, we need spiritual food to feel alive. Read inspiring books on how people overcome challenges, achieve their dreams and be encouraged. Listen to uplifting music instead of emo songs. One of my favourite radio channels are FM91.3 and FM 99.5, I tuned in whenever I feel listless. 

5. Huge Dosage of Vitamin L
Laughter is one of the best medicine. It induced positive energy to our being, help us to see things creatively from other perspectives and heighten our sense of humour. Catch comedies, stand-up comedies, comics regularly to up our humour-meter. People likes to befriend folks with sense of humour (excluding black/ distasteful/ offensive jokes hor). With new friends, new found popularity; we develop confidence, self-esteem and joy!

Give thanks, smile and live it up!