Cant' Stop Dating

This is my first time as a book author! It was published 3 days ago. Fresh from the stove! 💖

Thank God I manage to complete it before Valentines day. It will be very useful for couples looking for Valentines Date ideas. Very excited to share this book to all of you!!! 😊😊 

 

Usual price US$ 5.99. Now 0.99!

This ebook is available for sale at Amazon US https://amzn.to/3tm8bJL 
Discount is valid till 14th February 2021. Get it now! ☝

There are a total 52 dating activities suggested in this book.10 of the activities are catered for cyber space; suitable for couples in long-distance relationship or quarantine. These fun couple activities will last you for an entire year when you date once weekly. I have added matching conversation starters to go with each activity. To prevent conversations from running dry, I have also included a chapter on Conversation Sparklers which has 85 conversation topics to get both you and your date interacting on a personal or deeper level. With so many cues in this compact book, there will be no dull moments during your dates! 💖

Besides the checklist of romantic date ideas, this book also equips you with the heart ware for dating through:

• tips for singles who are planning their first date

• relationship tips on good communication for both singles and couples

Please check it out 👉 https://amzn.to/3tm8bJL 

Note: Kindle books can be read via Kindle App for PC/iOS and the Kindle Cloud Reader via web browser. The Kindle app is free software that you can download to your computer.

Indoor Date Ideas

Thankful for the internet, lock down is not so unbearable after all. Couples who are stuck at home could try these free resources available online for fun couple activities time. For couples who are in long distance relationship or quarantine, try these to curb the longing as well!  

I have included Conversation Starters to match the activities. They keep your date engaging, fun and memorable! Let the cyber date nights begin 💕

Online Game Night.
Play Taboo, Boogle or Rummy - just don’t use software to try and cheat to win (unless it makes the game more fun!) 😄 

💬 Conversation Starters: 

a. What was your favorite game when you were a kid? Mine was anything that involved pizza before playing.

b. Have you ever played Pictionary? Do you like it? All of my pictures seemed to look like a stick figure with a crown that was for some reason on fire. 😂

Screen capture of Youtube

Virtual Travel
Watch scenic videos together in high 4K or 8K resolution in Youtube. Some videos even offer 360view. Now we can finally see what the world looks like from on top of Mt. Everest! 👀

💬Conversation Starters: 

a. Where would you travel if you could go anywhere in the world? Maybe I’m lazy, but I think I’d choose my couch - to watch Netflix. 😆

b. What do you think it’s like in Antartica? I’m not positive, but I bet it feels a lot like how cold my shower is in the morning. 💦

Write a song for someone
Too hard to write a song? Get AI to help. You could be the next Lil’ Wayne or Garth Brooks...or maybe even Lil’ Garth!

💬Conversation Starters:

a. If you could have a celebrity write a song about you who would it be? How fun would it be to have a country song about you! 💞

b. If someone wrote a rap diss song about you...what would they say? I think people would pick on my ridiculous date night ideas. 😆

These are 3 of the romantic date ideas I have written for my ebook. This is my first book. I am so looking forward to share with you! Let you know here once it is published.

Stay home, stay safe, stay happy!

WeddingRenewal

My parents didn't bump to each other in the library. They were not childhood sweethearts from the same Kampong. Neither did they meet in the midst of war or calamities. Really nothing dramatic like most soap operas. They simply met each other through a matchmaker, exchanged rings on their first meeting and arranged for a simple wedding thereafter. They were not sure about love then but willing to give each other a try. 

Fast forward to more than half a century later— after raising 4 children and having 5 grandchildren; amidst ups and downs, toils and tears— they are now damn sure they are in love with each other. Today, they celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary and renewed their wedding vows— ever more committed and looking forward to more years together as husband and wife. And this is their love story. Love is something that grow with time unlike most movies.

PS: Dad and Mum, I am so proud of both of you. I am glad to be your offspring. Without your boldness to try, my siblings and I won’t be around. Love you both! Muacks!!!

Sunset Marriage

Morning Interview at 958 radio station on
Parental Matchmaking & latest marriage statistic in Singapore.

I was invited for an interview on 95.8 Mandarin radio station on the topic of marriage among the Singapore elderly. Based on the recent Singapore statistics, we see double the number of marriages in people aged 60 and above compared to a decade ago.

Statistics from WHO ranked Singapore number 4 in terms of life expectancy. Most Singaporeans lived beyond 82 years old. As Singaporean singles are living longer, what better way to lead their lives in the silver age than by developing a deeper relationship with someone that they like? Greater awareness on the benefits of emotional health also motivates singles in 60s to find a life partner.

During the interview, the DJ asked if having offspring is the key motivation for my Parental matchmaking participants. From the interactions with the parents that I met in my Parental Matchmaking sessions, surprisingly, their first concern is finding their single adult children a companion; I have not heard any parents mention about getting grandchildren. These parents found happiness in their marriage and sincerely hoped their kids would be able to find love, find someone to take care of them and settle down— just like themselves.

I am very heartened these parents and silver newly-weds see the importance of love and companionship. They didn’t give up searching despite their age. I encourage the silver singles to continue enlarge their social circle so as to meet someone suitable, caring and trustworthy.

We are conducting an event for singles age 35 and above on 15th December 2015. We welcome singles of this age range to join us! Our participants are Singaporeans, Permanent residents and Employment Pass holders. Please click here to find out more!

 

Qualities of good lover

Often, people would associate a desirable partner as someone young, pretty and well-endowed. Based on my years of relationship coaching and matchmaking, I find that physical attractiveness has little to do with keeping the long term relationship alive. After asking many happy couples on the essentials required to keep their lengthy relationship glowing, I gathered 9 attractive characteristics that good lovers embrace:

1. Faithful 

Adultery cuts the heart deeply. A good lover recognises the drastic effects of betrayal. As they cherish you, they try their best to protect your heart from being hurt. They give you the priority and commitment as their spouse.

2. Assuring

They reaffirm their love through words and actions. When you have done something wrong unintentionally, they are not over critical or condemning. They are gracious to give you the safety net to be imperfect. Besides accepting you for who you are, they make an effort to demonstrate their love, eg: cooking your favorite oxtail stew and giving you a massage after a tiring day.

3. Respect

• Personal choices
  Good lovers respect your choice. They will not force you to change your preference or do anything against your will. 
• Feelings
  As they would listen patiently without passing mean judgemental remarks; you know you could share your views and feelings with ease. They care enough to cushion their words with kindness so as to prevent hurting your feelings. They appreciate the efforts you have put in for them with encouraging words.
• Honor
  They sincerely honor you in their communications with you, they treat you with respect and love; not just in public but in private as well. I have a relative who would smile sweetly and agrees with her husband in public’s eye. Weather would turn completely when others are not around— She becomes cold and demanding toward him.
• Exclusive relationship
  They give you reverence by mentioning you to opposite gender whom they have just met. I've noticed people who evade their marital status so they could flirt around as if they are single and available.
• Ties
  They treat your friends and family with respect. They are supportive to attend social occasions together with you.

4. Trust

Partners with confidence in you would give you space to pursue your hobbies and enjoy some time alone. In the stressful city, you need time out to connect with yourself or your buddies. Good lovers are understanding but not self-absorbed in their insecurities.

5. Affectionate

Hugging is the simplest way to build people up emotionally.  Valuable lovers understand humans physical need to feel accepted and hug their partner liberally. My hubby and I give each other a number of loving hugs every day. We enjoy every magical moment of our embrace. In addition, we feel lighter and happier after each hug.

Good lovers are not detached or distant; they are comfortable to hold your hands or hug you without sex in their agenda.  They are more than willing to show the world their love for you and spend quality time with you too.

6. Stable

Being emotionally healthy; they are able to communicate their thoughts and feelings peacefully without staging any “drama”. In other words, they do not spite, wail, scream, threaten or slam things to get their point across. They avoid actions which are destructive to the relationship.

7. Teachable

They are open to evaluate themselves, listen to feedback, willing to learn new ways to better themselves and try new things to add sizzle to the relationship. Neither stubborn or self-centred, they have good self-esteem and humbleness to know they do not have to win every conversation. They are willing to compromise for the benefit of the relationship. And thoughtful enough to buy you a new wallet when they see that it's worn out. 

8. Responsible

They are involved in the home-making, holiday planning and parenting. They take care of their health and spend within their means. They are mature to carry themselves well and are there for you when needed. 

9. Humour

Humour is a amazing tool that helps people to relax and connect. Good lovers would joke and cheer you up at the end of day. You enjoy their sense of humour and they enjoy hearing your laughter. Most importantly, both of you are able to relax and revel in each other’s presence.

Please note that you do not need to have all these factors to have a wonderful lasting relationship. These are common points that I've found from my observations and discussions with couples. The keys to loving relationship are not exhaustive. 

The Journey (Movie)

2014 movie, made in Malaysia

Movie review from a recently married lady's perspective

I had the honor to watch the preview of this Malaysian blockbuster in Singapore.

Married last year, I could identify with the stress of preparing for a wedding. My hubby and I wanted a simplistic wedding. However our families do have certain expectations on how it should be done.

Even though my wedding is over, I still wish that my family could gave us more space and time to plan the romantic wedding I dream of, at times. It's about hubby and I getting married anyway, why should we let others interfere when, where or how it should be done?

After watching this comedy, I learnt that observing the Chinese wedding traditions (personally hand-deliver the invitation cards) are not just rara to keep the traditions alive or to show off how filial or well-off we are.

As Chinese, we hardly express love. These traditional Chinese wedding rituals are to helps us to convey our love sincerely..

~ Love for our spouse.
~ Love for our families.

~ Love for our relatives.

Preparing Chinese wedding is the teething moments as the couple learn about both families's expectations. As we get to know one another, understand their thoughts, we grow to love them. Along the way, somehow all the ideals of a fairytale wedding fades away. This process is an excellent opportunity to learn about compromise. From this touching movie, I learnt the most important thing about a matrimony is not the banquet or the photos, but to receive blessings and acknowledgement from people who are close to our hearts.

7 Cool Factors:
1. Biking road trip with father-in-law! Need I say more?!

2. Reminds us of Singapore in the 70s and early 80s.  In olden days, people had their wedding banquet in their own house. How meaningful it is to hold a wedding party at the home that we grew up in?! Certainly more memorable and authentic! Perfect movie for kids who are keen to see the Kampong era which their parents had grew up from. Ok.. I am a sucker for Nostalgia...

3. Covers very real prevalent issues – cross cultural marriages with globalisation, old age, parenting, death and even "Pang-dang" taboo Chinese traditions.

4. The giant DIY balloon is truely an icon of Malaysia's unity.  Impressive massive effort is required to collect plastic bags from different parts of Malaysians – no joke in a big country like Malaysia!

5. Achievement for Singapore as we can see the censorship are relaxed for dialects movies. I love dialects as they are colorful languages that connect us with our roots and our old folks. Even ministers connect with the masses through dialects!

6. Captivating cinematography of undulating green farms, beaches and Chinese festivities around Malaysia.

7. I especially liked the fact that the family "U-turned" for their loved ones. They are willing to go off track and go the extra mile to make their loved ones happy. A symbolic scene of love.

Movie Synopsis:
SPG (without the sexy sarong) seeks permission and blessings from stubborn farmer dad to marry clueless Ang-mo boyfriend.


Cast:
Organic !
Most of the casts are not professionally trained in acting. They are just typical Malaysian Chinese who speak fluent colloquial dialects – which retains the original flavour of the multi-racial country; comfortably.

My impression for the lead male character grew as he grew up. Ben Pfeiffer is a promising actor who could develop the character with depth.

The lead actress, Joanne Yew, is a very sweet, fair lady. Her lushious hair reminds me of the Korean actress, Gianna Jun, in My Sassy Girl. What attracts me about her is her outstanding screen presence. However, I would hope to see more soulful expressions than her rolling of XL black contact lens.


Date-friendly:
Yes, teens and family friendly too! A movie without the Hollywood glamor but will capture the audience's heart.


Tips:
Bring tissue along.


Lydia's Ratings:
8 out of 10 stars.


Release Date:
Singapore - 20 Mar 2014. Cathay cinemas.


Trailer:
Please click here to view.

8 Sure Ways to Snuff Out Romance

Valentine’s Day is here to remind us to cherish our partner and set aside this day to celebrate with them. At times, we are too caught with the stress of living that we neglected the purpose of this special day. Romance is like candlelight that needs to be maintained with gentleness and care. Snuff out the flame and more efforts would be required to re-light the fire again. Thus, be aware of these behavior that could extinguish the tender feelings silently…

1) Critical
The chicken should be marinated longer...
You shouldn’t use plural whenever you use the word…
You should shave...

Some perfectionist got so WHINY, not only they spoil the mood, they miss out on the fun of the occasion totally. In the bible, Jesus confronted Martha for fretting over the small stuffs and direct her to focus on enjoying his companionship instead.

Nit-picking on the smallest details frustrates people, especially the person who plans the date. The partner felt the critic had undermine the sincerity and efforts that was put in to plan the date. Feeling unappreciated, I wonder if their partner will ever try to romance their demanding partner again…


2) Calculative
Being calculative over the amount spent on your date just spells out loud that your fear of being shortchanged super exceed the love for your partner. That said, everyone hopes their efforts would be reciprocated with appreciation.


3) Dishonest
Imagine constantly trying to catch and match the consistency of the words and actions. It can be very tiring to date a chronic liar. Without trust, how can your date let their guards down and let the loving feeling glow?


4) Unfaithful
Victims of unfaithful partners would be too consumed with bitterness to appreciate any romantic gestures. Some adulterers are unaware of the hurt they have caused their partner; they thought that an expensive bag or dinner would do the trick of rekindling the love. Not so easy! The key to reconcile is to sincerely apologize and repent. Feelings of betrayal and anger have to be appeased before any romance can be established.


5) Insecured
Am I attractive? 
Am I fat?
Do I look good in purple?
There are folks who are so self-absorbed with their own issues and insecurities, they fish for compliments and assurances throughout the entire conversation. Their date end up feeling used as a tool of validation.


6) Offensive
No matter how sexy you think you are; being rude, loud or inconsiderate utterly puts people off.


7) Yo Brother! Hey Sister!
Do this only when you wish kill every possibilities to kiss him or her (applicable to Christians too).

By acknowledging your date as a sibling, you are putting your date into the “friend-zone”. He or she will get the drift and AUTO log-out of “romance mode”. Any idea of romance thereafter would suggest incest. Eeks…


8) Spoilt
Princess or prince wannabes think that by being unrealistically demanding, it will keep admirers on their toes to impress them.

Winning the heart of these haughty might seems challengingly fun for the admirers at first. Over time, it can be very demeaning to be the slave. Once these admirers realize they are looking for an equal partner (to love and support each another), and not a royalty to please. Poof!!! They will scram for freedom!


Hope these 8 tips gives you a better picture of an enjoyable Valentine's Day with your partner. 

Love

Wedding photo taken at a beach in Kending, Taiwan

As I was going through some of the old school work I have done, I discovered this quotation. It is from an old photography project that I've done in Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts. As I read this quotation again after so many years, I read it with a smile, a deep smile.

Since I met my husband, it slowly dawn upon me that we have many similarities. From family values, open-mindedness and even our love languages. It is like God confirming to us why we are meant to be together!

Thank God my honeybunny and I shares the same values.  It certainly builds the foundation of our relationship, help us to love each other more easily and simplify our life choices.