22 October 2011

11 Reasons Why Singles Are Not Dating in Singapore

11 Reasons Why Singles Are Not Dating in Singapore
This article is featured in AsiaOne online magazine in 2007

1. Lack of Confidence
Have you ever woke up early in the morning, looked at yourself in the mirror and wonder, “Who will ever love me?” Low self-esteem and fear of rejection can cause such episodes to cripple anyone’s love life! As long as such thoughts are foremost in the mind, singles will be unable to take the all important step to initiate a date or accept a date.

2. Clueless In Love
Gone out with a date who looks like he just woke up, hasn’t brushed his teeth, doesn’t open the door for you and picks his nose at the table? You’re probably not alone. Lack of grooming, communication skills, social and dating etiquette can spell disaster for any potential social opportunities. Want to network, impress someone on a date or connect with anyone in a relationship? Better pick up a copy of Grooming and Etiquette for Dummies.

3. Denying the Coming of Age
Mommy’s Boy and Daddy’s Princess. These big kids can’t face up to the fact that they are adult and of marriageable age. They prefer to remain pampered as mummy’s boys and daddy’s princesses. Either too spoilt or too sheltered to take the next big step, better go buy a lottery ticket if they actually decide to settle down.

4. Wa Bo-Chap! (I Can’t Be Bothered)
They think it is cool to “act cool” about their marital status. When their motto is “Singles have more fun!”, there really isn’t any impetus to get out of this single’s comfort zone. And even if they do want to get attached, they really expect their other half to accept all their bad habits wholesale. Don't expect them to change or compromise anything.

5. Consistently “Not Ready for Relationship”
The most commonly heard “default” reason for the “un-dating” singles. These singles are “Not Ready for a Relationship” and they are reluctant to do anything constructive to get themselves ready. The thing is, as long as you’re not ready for a relationship, you’ll never find yourself in one!

6. Kia Pai-Seh lah (Scared to be Embarrassed)
Another addition to the popular Singaporean syndromes of being Kia-Su and Kia-Si is Kia Pai-Seh - the fear of “losing face”. Sufferers of such a syndrome won’t be caught dead dating someone or attending any singles events or courses on dating etiquette. To them, it is like announcing to the whole world that they are desperate to get out of single hood. Grow up! There is nothing wrong with wanting to get hitched. Human beings are born to procreate. Be proactive about our dating lives! It is more practical to attend social events to get to know more singles friends then sitting around waiting for a life-partner to drop from heaven!

7. Being Commitment Phobic
This phobia is the inability or unwillingness to share their life with someone else or absolve themselves of past hurts. While it can be a valid and emotionally debilitating phobia, a lot depends on whether the single in question recognises the phobia for what it is. Once the phobia is recognised, there are life coaches, counsellors, self-help books, forums and informative websites that singles can turn to. The trick, as always, is to first recognise that you do have that problem!

8. No Money
For the financially insecure, we can understand when men lament “No money to buy expensive dinners, how to date?” or when a girl said “No money to buy little black dress, how to impress any date?” Well, the good news is dating is about fun. There are many ways to create fun without having to spend lots of money. Fun is all about looking into each other’s eyes and laughing together!

9. Too Busy
Drained after a hard day’s work and other commitments, is there no more room for romance? Find the well-spring of strength and stamina that is inside everyone. The youth in Hong Kong work as hard as Singaporeans, and their lifestyle is as stressful than ours. But they adopt a work hard, play harder mentality which makes them such a vibrant population. Their singles are still able to make time and effort to date. How much is companionship worth to you?

10. Haven’t met someone suitable yet…
There are 600,000 singles out there in Singapore! If I had a dollar for every single out there, I’d consider myself rich! 600,000 singles and not one suitable? I am sure you can find one that can clique well with you. The question really ought to be “Are you making the effort to meet them?”

11. Am I a Homosexual?
You mean you’re still unsure?! Well, for those who are still unsure of their sexual orientation (even now!), I would suggest they see a counsellor first… I definitely wouldn’t want to date someone who is still wondering if he is a gay!

Given the above 11 reasons why singles are not dating, I would like to salute everyone who is attached or married for their courage to change, to give love and to receive love.

Especially to those have attended singles events and coaching sessions; I am very proud of your confidence to face your single-hood, and to have the wisdom to be open and proactive enough to participate in enriching your lives. These are very attractive qualities. Keep it up!

For singles who have taken a lifetime vow of celibacy, we respect your decision and wish you all the best. May the love and strength of your God be with you always.

For the singles who aren’t dating and wish to start somewhere, LoveAgain.sg has the expertise to equip you with all the skills you need. From customized coaching on attraction, dating etiquette and grooming we are committed to bring out the “Wow” factor in you! Click here for variety of social events to launch your love life!