Who needs a holiday?

A facebook quote sparked this post.  

"Instead of wondering where your next vacation is, maybe you ought to set up a life you don't need to escape from." ~ Seth Godin

This reminds of my discussion with a workaholic friend. He enjoys his job tremendously and shared how puzzled he is by people who is constantly looking towards holiday. Another guy said he is very weary of dating girls who are always out of the country for vacations on every long weekend. He does not understand why they are so upset with their life that they have to opt for escape with every chance.

We were not referring to of people who travel once or thrice a year to experience adventure, explore a new culture, get new inspiration or experiencing fun family time. Neither are we referring to expats who wants to maximise their time and proximity to explore other parts of Asia while they are in Singapore. Nor retirees who have the time and  money to travel around the world.

Here, we are referring to a group who could be stressed, unhappy or bored with their current life to the extent they always feel the need to escape out of their country to feel SANE.

These "escapists" may be leading a miserable life due to the following:

1. They are ego-driven — having the continual need to win, put others down or boast about themselves in order to feel moments of superiority. While they might be successful in their careers, the price of expressing their egos too readily leaves them feeling really lonely and unloved. This feeds into the vicious cycle of making them suspicious, untrusting and unloving which will ultimately cause them to feel emotionally tensed and tired.
2. They are always fending off attacks from people in point 1 at the workplace. Their workload is beyond them. However, due to other commitments, they dare not leave their jobs. They require holidays to relax their defences.
3. People with family issues to handle. They feel they can't let go of their responsibilities emotionally. Eg: Caregivers. They seriously need holidays to prevent being burnt out.
4. People who finds crowded city life too tough to cope.
5. People with low self-esteem who lack the ability to connect with others and themselves on a deeper level. They crave for holidays or entertainment to fill the emptiness in their lives.

If such is the lives they lead, they will need to find ways of escaping.

Some might argue traveling is fun, we travel while we are young and mobile. But adventures, new experiences and challenges come in many forms. Learning to play a new musical instrument, foreign language or sports can be fun, healthy and exciting too. So actually there is no need to go overseas to get it. Once in a while, a trip for a refreshing change/inspiration is perfectly fine. But if someone has to go for holidays constantly to "escape", then there might be a deeper void inside that one has to look into, besides the financial one. One might even start by thinking about a staycation as an option and as a good way to question yourself the need to go overseas..

Before we spend thousands of dollars on holidays, what we might really need is a mirror. I liken a good life coach as a mirror. A mirror to reflect who we are. A life coach would encourage us, teach us ways to manage stress, build our sense of emotional well-being, broaden our mindset and guide us to discover our happiness in life. Our joys and passion are best developed when we understand ourselves better.

Besides engaging a life coach for an one on one coaching sessions. There are other ways to self-discovery:
1. Feedback from honest, kind and wise close friends and family members
2. Divine revelation from God
3. Self-improvement workshops
4. Personality tests
5. DNA fingerprint test

Once we know our personality, motivation and talent, we are able to find passion, confidence and joy.

In future, prior to bursting our hard-earned money or exhausting ourselves from tight and tiring overseas holidays, do consider what we really need. Is it a holiday, a change or a reflection?

7 ways to stay youthful

During my events, I met many people. I’m surprised to find some of them look so much younger than their age. Being inquisitive, I asked for their secrets to maintain youthfulness. Besides drinking enough water to hydrate, keeping active and eating balanced diet, here are 7 golden tips that I've gathered. They are applicable to both men and women:

1. HAIR
Singapore’s humid and sunny weather increases sweat production and cause the scalp to feel greasy. Through my conversations with some youthful looking mature men with healthy head of hair, I discovered they have the common habit of shampooing their hair only once in two days. To keep it clean, they rinse their hair daily.

2. SKIN
Avoid harsh skincare products which can cause skin irritation, accelerate skin aging and make it look leathery. In order to choose the right skin care, identify your skin type and use suitable products. Your skin should feel clean not tight, itchy or dry after cleansing and toning.

3. WRINKLES
When you feel your brows are knitted together due to concentration, pinch your brows lightly to reduce stress and prevent vertical lines formed between the brows. Pinch the brows in an outward direction.

4. LIPS
When our lips are dry, we are tempted to lick it. This dries the lips further as saliva removes moisture. Apply lip balm instead. Carry it with you and apply it whenever you feel the need to hydrate your lips.

5. COLD SHOWER
If you can take it, cold shower water tones the body and activates the lymphatic system.

Get active and social!

6. MENTAL CHALLENGE
Engage your brain regularly– learn a new language, pick up new hobbies or read more books. It will brighten your thinking, up your mental abilities, empower you to react fast and prevent memory loss. Physical exercises strengthen your body. Likewise, mental exercises benefit your brain.

7. INTERACT
Youthful looking people has open, optimistic outlook and keep their energy high by interacting with others.  They enjoy talking to people and the chatting makes them more relaxed and joyful. Get social regularly to stay cheerful. You get to make new friends, stay in touch with old pals and family too!

Chess

After running an international chess workshop for Clique Wise today, I realised 5 benefits of this age-old game.

Marco, from The Chess School, was explaining the game rules and strategies.

Benefits of Playing Chess:

1) Brain Health
Mental exercise is as important as physical exercise. Playing chess stimulates thinking and stretch our brain muscles, thereby improving our memory and helping us to be mentally alert to make decisions better and faster. Unlike mah-jong which has the risk of losing money, chess is a wholesome game to protect the mental faculties of senior citizens from degenerating.

2) Learning abilities
Research has shown that playing chess enhances learning development of kids. This game cultivates analytical reasoning ability and problem-solving skills; which is especially useful in mathematics and science.

3) Concentration
Build mental endurance as the game requires the players to stay calm and focused over long period of time.

4) Understand other's character
As we observe our opponent's facial expression and body language during the chess game, we get to know them more, as such we could manage the relationship better.

5) Social
Research has shown that playing chess fosters confidence, self-esteem and social skills. With healthy brain, we are able to establish more meaningful relationships.

Chess is a brilliant, interactive and fascinating game that enriches the mind and our social experience with people. A well fought game can be a fulfilling experience. Hope more will pick up this game, enjoy and favour from it!

My second game of chess. Thanks to all the coaching, White won.
To make the learning more interesting, I challenged the trainers to help Black win.

Rediffusion

Rediffusion will be going off the air come April 30. Rediffusion is a subscription radio that has a long history in Singapore. Since 1949, Rediffusion served the community, providing news, information as well as quality listening entertainment.

Their audience are mainly dialect speaking Chinese age 40 and above. I am honoured to have the opportunities to be interviewed during the VIP programme last December and this year's Valentine’s Day. I used Hokkien phrases freely on air and spoke about how parents could play a supportive role instead of pressurizing their children to get married.

Lydia outside the studio

Between the interviews, Teochew songs were played. The DJ and I casually chatted about the issues that old folks face in Singapore. We agree that Singapore has evolved so fast over the last 15 years that the illiterate folks find it tough to keep up with times.

My relatives in their 70s feedback why they feel cooped up at home. There have been so many new buildings and roads that they are afraid to get lost. They could not take public transport as they do not understand English, neither are they tech-savvy to use maps or GPS.  The safest way for them to commute alone out of their area is through taxi; which may be pricy for some of the retirees. As such they spend most of their time at home listening to Rediffusion.

While their kids and grand-kids are busy with work and school. Rediffusion has empowered these old folks mentally and emotionally. The dialect language is something they can relate to and it comforts them. If this radio service is gone, they will feel more lost, lonely and detached from society. Sincerely hope this station will be kept to accompany the old folks through their sunset years.

If it is not sustainable to keep Rediffusion due to commercial reasons, maybe MCYS can consider collaborating with Mediacorp to fill in this gap — a dialect radio station to meet the needs of the illiterate folks and senior citizens. It will be an avenue for youngsters to pick up their dialect and communicate with their grand parents too. There are more than 10 radio channels in Singapore. One dialect station will not dilute Mandarin or English language abilities but enrich Singapore's culture and make Singaporeans feel more connected to our roots.