Cant' Stop Dating

This is my first time as a book author! It was published 3 days ago. Fresh from the stove! 💖

Thank God I manage to complete it before Valentines day. It will be very useful for couples looking for Valentines Date ideas. Very excited to share this book to all of you!!! 😊😊 

 

Usual price US$ 5.99. Now 0.99!

This ebook is available for sale at Amazon US https://amzn.to/3tm8bJL 
Discount is valid till 14th February 2021. Get it now! ☝

There are a total 52 dating activities suggested in this book.10 of the activities are catered for cyber space; suitable for couples in long-distance relationship or quarantine. These fun couple activities will last you for an entire year when you date once weekly. I have added matching conversation starters to go with each activity. To prevent conversations from running dry, I have also included a chapter on Conversation Sparklers which has 85 conversation topics to get both you and your date interacting on a personal or deeper level. With so many cues in this compact book, there will be no dull moments during your dates! 💖

Besides the checklist of romantic date ideas, this book also equips you with the heart ware for dating through:

• tips for singles who are planning their first date

• relationship tips on good communication for both singles and couples

Please check it out 👉 https://amzn.to/3tm8bJL 

Note: Kindle books can be read via Kindle App for PC/iOS and the Kindle Cloud Reader via web browser. The Kindle app is free software that you can download to your computer.

Indoor Date Ideas

Thankful for the internet, lock down is not so unbearable after all. Couples who are stuck at home could try these free resources available online for fun couple activities time. For couples who are in long distance relationship or quarantine, try these to curb the longing as well!  

I have included Conversation Starters to match the activities. They keep your date engaging, fun and memorable! Let the cyber date nights begin 💕

Online Game Night.
Play Taboo, Boogle or Rummy - just don’t use software to try and cheat to win (unless it makes the game more fun!) 😄 

💬 Conversation Starters: 

a. What was your favorite game when you were a kid? Mine was anything that involved pizza before playing.

b. Have you ever played Pictionary? Do you like it? All of my pictures seemed to look like a stick figure with a crown that was for some reason on fire. 😂

Screen capture of Youtube

Virtual Travel
Watch scenic videos together in high 4K or 8K resolution in Youtube. Some videos even offer 360view. Now we can finally see what the world looks like from on top of Mt. Everest! 👀

💬Conversation Starters: 

a. Where would you travel if you could go anywhere in the world? Maybe I’m lazy, but I think I’d choose my couch - to watch Netflix. 😆

b. What do you think it’s like in Antartica? I’m not positive, but I bet it feels a lot like how cold my shower is in the morning. 💦

Write a song for someone
Too hard to write a song? Get AI to help. You could be the next Lil’ Wayne or Garth Brooks...or maybe even Lil’ Garth!

💬Conversation Starters:

a. If you could have a celebrity write a song about you who would it be? How fun would it be to have a country song about you! 💞

b. If someone wrote a rap diss song about you...what would they say? I think people would pick on my ridiculous date night ideas. 😆

These are 3 of the romantic date ideas I have written for my ebook. This is my first book. I am so looking forward to share with you! Let you know here once it is published.

Stay home, stay safe, stay happy!

Online Social Event Etiquette

During the Covid19 stay-at-home period, many matchmaking agencies switched to hosting online dating to continue getting singles to socialize. 💘 To keep up with times, I have included conducting video dating events in my event facilitating class. As I was preparing my course ware, an idea bulb illuminated! 🌟 Propelling me to share these 7 tips on attending virtual meetings here. The key purpose of these suggestions is to prepare attendees to project their best self during online social event.

Image by mmi9 from Pixabay 

Getting Ready
Some people feel nervous about meeting strangers. To minimize additional stress, participants could familiarize with the conference tools, position the lighting angle and test the internet speed before the event. When people are accustomed with the tools, they will appear more relax and confident. Select a quiet environment with minimal distraction to attend the virtual dating event. Put up a "DO NOT DISTURB" signage on your door or desk to prevent your family from disrupting your meeting. Fully charge your devices first if there are no electrical points at the selected meeting spot. Participants will be talking much throughout the online dating event, prepare a bottle of water.

Optical & Audible
First impression affects the chances of being asked for a future date. Wear tastefully for this social event. Selfie-ring light helps to lit your face so the other participants can see your expressions well during virtual meetings. Close the overbearing back-light if necessary. Keep good posture and position your camera so you appear in the center of your screen. Choose a tidy and cluttered-free background. Speak clearly to the microphone instead of the screen. Silent your mobile phone to prevent incoming sound notifications. Most people have a tendency to look at the screen. Look at the camera once in a while to "maintain" eye contact with the other participants. Attendees can get overly self-conscious as they can see themselves in the video conference application. One way to reduce such tension is to focus on the camera or the other participants instead.

Be on Schedule
Being timely shows that you are a considerate and co-operative person. Be punctual and keep to the ending time of the online event.

Optimal Connectivity
Some participants had to leave the meetings abruptly due to shortage of power. Video-conferencing can drain up a lot of power from your devices. Keep the charged power banks or electrical cables nearby. Switch off unused applications on your device to keep the video running smoothly.

Be Congruous
Similar to face-to-face social meetings, be courteous, respectful and friendly. Smile. Some people get too cozy and started to slouch or lie down during the virtual meetings. It is very inappropriate on first meetings. Get a comfortable chair which can support your back when you sit up straight. Avoid using abbreviations or profanities. Sending shirtless photos of yourself to show off sculpted abs or sharing the latest offensive viral videos are no-nos too.

Conversation Plan
At this initial stage of meeting new friends, the key purpose of these interactions is to discover one another's preferences, personality, outlook and vibes. Keep the conversation topics light, natural and appropriate as this is the first meeting. Brainstorm a personal conversation listing beforehand. Apply them to keep the dialogue going or pivot from stagnation. This list is extremely useful when you are meeting singles one-on-one in breakout rooms.

Sign-offs
Video-conference software can only pick up 1 conversation a time, it get confused when there are few people talking. Participants end up hearing bits and pieces of words incoherently. To ensure every dialogue is captured smoothly, let the others be aware that you have finished your conversation with “That’s all.” “Thank you.” “Let's hear from...” This prevent awkward interruptions or silence.

Scam Statistics

The recent statistics from Singapore Police Force shows an increased in crime rate especially in the area of scams. These scammers are really working hard, casting the net wide to cheat people of their hard-earned money.

Even though my relationship status is stated as married, I still receive invitation from fake profiles at social media almost every other day. I just met up with an ex-colleague who is single. She showed me her Dating App account, each profile shows a few photos and bare information of the person. It is tough to assess if they are genuine in the Dating App.

I told her the safest route to meet singles is to attend group events ran by Singapore's Accredited Dating Agencies, which have the procedure to check all their customers marital status at Registry of Marriage. I am glad she took my suggestion and joined a dating event conducted by one of my student recently. Sincerely wish her success in her search for love!

7 Film-Inspired Expressions of Love

7 Film-Inspired Expressions of Love

Discover your partner’s secret love lingo, and radically transform your couple life.

Ever wondered why you are unable to win the heart of your love interest, or why your long-term relationship seems to be stagnating? If you have been working hard at your relationship to no avail, your language of love may be lost in translation.  

While love is a universal need, each of us speaks and understands it differently. The trick is to learn what works best for your partner.

Each person has a few preferred ways of expressing and experiencing love. Learning your partner’s love lingo will help you better appreciate everyday gestures. It will also enable you to better express your love effectively and build a deeper sense of intimacy.

By analysing some of the best romantic movies of our times, we show you how to crack the love code. You will be surprised at how much more fulfilling your relationship can be.

#1 ACTS OF LOVE

Movie Inspiration: The Intern

New-age stay-at-home dad Matt gives up his career to support his wife Jules while she builds her e-commerce fashion empire. This good-looking SNAG cooks, cleans and cares for their daughter.

While most of us don’t have the luxury of quitting our jobs to support our partner’s dreams, small daily acts of kindness is one of the key ways practical people express love. It could be something as run-of-the-mill as ironing clothes, brewing herbal soup or taking the initiative to wash the family car.

If you are on the receiving end of such acts of love, be sure to show appreciation. More importantly, make an effort to reciprocate, and do it with love. This is especially relevant to husbands and boyfriends, since women still tend to do more household chores and shoulder more childcare responsibilities. In fact, some studies suggest that men who help out with household chores enjoy more and better sex.

#2 WORDS OF LOVE

Movie Inspiration: Shakespeare in Love

This film explores the fictitious and forbidden love between William Shakespeare and a noble woman Viola. Viola’s love for literature and theatre, as well as Shakespeare’s poetic love declarations create instant sparks.

There is tremendous power in constantly and openly affirming each other, especially for people who prefer to express and experience love verbally. Of course, not everyone is comfortable with dramatic love declarations, so there is really no need to recite a sonnet. A simple ‘I love you’ in the morning or at night can do wonders for your relationship.

Be generous with your compliments as well. If your partner looks wonderful in a new haircut or outfit, be sure to point it out. Or, if he cooks your favourite dish and picks you up at work, make it a point to tell him how much you appreciate it.

#3 INTELLECTUAL CONNECTION

via GIPHY

Movie Inspiration: Before Sunrise
Can you fall madly in love with a stranger? Apparently you can. Jesse and Céline meet on a train departing from Budapest and strike up a conversation. They end up spending the night roaming Vienna, and talking about love, religion and life. By the end of the night, they have fallen in love.

We are all drawn to people we naturally ‘click’ with. However, for intellectual types who appreciate witty banter, humour and the exchange of ideas, such connections are extremely important.

If your partner fits the bill, it is vital to engage him or her regularly. Discuss ideas, find common grounds, understand each other’s quirks, and don’t be afraid to tease and banter with each other good-naturedly. Making an effort to read widely also helps you remain intellectual equals and provides fodder for meaningful conversations.

#4 THOUGHTFUL GIFTS 

Movie Inspiration: The Terminal

Viktor, a Krakozhia refugee stranded at JFK International Airport, falls in love with a beautiful flight attendant Amelia. To woo her, he orchestrates an intimate dinner, and even miraculously constructs a majestic fountain with materials gathered at the airport.

Gifts can be powerful expression of love for some. But don’t max out your credit card on designer goods just yet. Take a leaf from Tom Hank’s character in The Terminal – a gift doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant as long as it is thoughtful.

Word of advice: since people in this category tend to value the time and effort put into gifting, don’t get lazy and just grab a gift voucher. Surprise your partner with tickets when his favourite band is in town, or present her with a rose during special occasions such as your dating or marriage anniversary. For extra brownie points, make time for gift-wrapping!

#5 TOUCH OF AFFECTION

Movie Inspiration: Ghost
In case you haven’t watched this oldie, it tells the story of a happy couple Sam and Molly who are suddenly separated when Sam is murdered. He returns as a ghost, and struggles to communicate with Molly who can no longer see, hear or feel him.

For some people, a gentle touch on the shoulder, pat on the back, hug and kiss can be extremely meaningful. It conveys physical affection and intimacy. It can also be very reassuring and help your partner feel secure in your love.

Do not confuse this with sex though – in fact, most of your interactions may not even take place in the bedroom. It could be something as simple as sitting close to each other while watching television, giving each other goodbye kisses or hugs every day, or holding hands. If you did not grow up in a family that practises such physical proximity, it might take some adjustments to make yourself available and accessible to your partner, but it will be well worth it.

#6 BONDING TIME

Movie Inspiration: Up

Who can forget the poignant and heartbreaking first 10 minutes of Up when Ellie and Carl met and fell in love? There were no noisy declarations or dramatic demonstrations of love. It was quiet, old-fashion love – they simply did everything together and grew old together.

Spending time to connect as a couple is extremely important for some. This could be as clichéd as having a date night every week, enjoying an evening walk together, cooking together, or enjoying a nightcap together daily.

Remember, the key is to ensure that you are spending quality time as a couple. In other words, turn off your smart phone, put down your iPad, and give each other undivided attention.

#7 SEXUAL INTIMACY

  

Movie Inspiration: No Strings Attached

As its name suggests, this movie is about two friends, Emma and Adam, who agree to be sex buddies with no strings attached. Naturally, they fail and end up falling head over heels for each other.

Sex is an important part of most relationships – it helps to keep the spark alive between couples so that they don’t start to see each other as roommates or friends over time. For some, it is also vital to convey love, acceptance and affirmation.

That said, don’t see sex as an obligation. Spice up your sex life by trying it in different places, experimenting with different positions, or even investing in some fun sex toys such as a fluffy handcuff or blindfold. Some excitement in the bedroom can create a deeper sense of intimacy and trust, and establish a stronger connection with your partner.

Hope this 7 expressions of love re-ignite your romance!

Friends to avoid if you want to get hitched

Friends or Foe! As much as our friends are the best wingman for us to get hitched, they can also be the worst barriers to dating. Whether you know it or not, some friends influence your attitude and behaviour towards dating.

These are the few unhealthy friend types that I have seen, sharing these so that you can prevent hindrance in your search for love.

1. Egoistic Maniac

Alpha who will put everybody down to make himself/herself look good. They would not admit that he/she needs help in any problem, including finding a future partner. He/she believes that they have the calibre for someone to just fall in love with them.

They will mock people who subscribe to dating services as they see that effort as desperate. Such attitude is so passe! Beneath the defensive shell, is the huge fear of losing face and low self-esteem. Proud people are often the most fragile and afraid to be lonely. So if you have a friend like that, do help them to get out of the singlehood by encouraging them to be tactful and socialise more. Let them know that dating events does not mean that you are desperate; it just mean that you are open to meeting like-minded people.

Their typical line:

“I don’t need dating services!”

“Isn’t it a bit too desperate to be going for dating services?”

2. Nit-Picker

People need friends who are willing to put on the “Relationship consultant” hat to offer a listening ear and most importantly; sincere dating advice for your emotional needs. Sometimes friends do offer sound advice as an objective individual.

However, you have to be careful when they start shoving their unrealistic ideals on your boyfriend or girlfriend. They often make you feel that your date is not worth your time and tend to emphasis more on his or her bad than good points. In short, he or she “ridicule” your expectations on life-partner.

Their typical line:

“If your boyfriend loves you, he will buy you that $8,889 bag!”

“If your girlfriend loves you, she will let you “geng MC” to play Dota!”

“If your partner loves you, she will reply your message in 5 minutes, even when she is at work.”

3. Moodsucker

You know the character Sadness from the movie Inside Out. Yes! Probably the only emotion in the person’s head. This character type is naturally pessimistic about things and have an ultra-negative outlook on relationships. To them, 99% of all marriages wind up in divorce. Every time you meet, they keep talking about failed relationships or marriages or XXX is homosexual, so depressing that they drain out all your hopes and joys of love. You get infected with their negativity and become closed-up to relationships. No mood to even dream about dating after every conversation with them.

Their typical line:

“All the good guys are either taken or gay“

“I’m going to die alone with 99 cats. “

4. Hinder in disguise

Although these mood suckers always say they want to get married, their actions contradict their words. Every time you meet them, they are always bringing the opposite sex down. Such friends keep reinforcing all the unappealing aspects of the opposite gender that affects your perspective on dating. 

When both of you attend social functions, he/she will hog on to you to prevent you from talking to others. Even when eligible singles approach you to try to know you, these blockers will project a repulsive body language (like rolling-their eyes or show a pitch dark face) to turn these people away. Consciously or unconsciously, they want you to stay single with them.

Their typical line:

“Guys ah, hopeless woodblocks, so clueless and insensitive to our feelings”

“Girls ah, only want to control you, don't let you drink and don't let you go out”

5. Pleasure-Seekers

These men and women usually spent like a filthy rich on sleazy pubs and bar host/hostesses. And they are not there to entertain their clients or celebrate their boss’s birthday. They patronise vices habitually to destress. They would tip these host/hostesses hundreds of dollars but would not spend a single cent on networking or dating services. They prefer to seek comfort in these host/ hostesses instead of finding a life-partner. I reckon they might be commitment-phobic, or have relationship issues with educated, independent people of the opposite gender. So they would rather burst their credit cards’ limit on host/hostesses who can satisfy their temporal need for companionship and boost their ego. They live by the motto that money can buy everything, including love. The best advice they can give you is to buy a bride. While we respect their lifestyle choice, the more you hang out with them in these places, the lesser your chance of dating good eligible singles.

Their typical line:

“Forget about dating or wooing women, let’s go to this KTV Lounge to have fun, the girls will entertain us!”

“Forget about marriage, let’s go to this host club to be pampered by cute smooth guys!”

6. Freeloaders

On evenings that are not “ladies night”, these women would hang around different tables at the bar and wait for the men buy them drinks. They regard men as tickets for free alcohol. They are more interested in getting freebies than meeting people. They main purpose to find male pleasure-seekers as mentioned above to milk as many things from them as possible. As their friend, you will have to get free drinks for them or buy them drinks.

Their typical line:

Nil. They hardly talk as they are busy drinking or fishing for freebies.

7. Nagger

The Nagger always say the same cliche lines but either don't apply the same words to themselves or they just NATO (No Action, Talk Only). If they are really concerned for your social well-being, they will try to do something constructive.

Their typical line:

“So old already, still haven't find boyfriend/ girlfriend. You want to settle down or not?”

If you realise that you are being a nagger or any one characters described above, Stop! Act on these to help your single friends instead:

• encouraging them to be positive, pro-active and open-minded to meet singles in their search for suitable life-partner
• introducing eligible bachelors or bachelorettes to them
• pointing them to loving couples who stay married, help them to see happy marriage can be achieved
•  referring them to sign up for dating services

These are what supportive friends could do, this list is not exhaustive. Feel free to comment/email me if you have more ways to help your single friends.

Appreciative ex-client

I met up with an ex-client over lunch last week to pass him a gift for his baby daughter. He met his wife at my board games event few years ago.

He admitted that he used to think that local women are hard to please, before I explained to him many ladies are not looking for a husband that earns more then them, but are looking for someone responsible, with a stable job and caring. He listened with an open-mind and attended my single event. He was impressed by the quality of the ladies there; they are not only pretty but kind at heart as well! He is very thankful that I encouraged him to attend social events for singles which he met his wife. Now he is enjoying the bliss of family life. I am overjoyed that he remembers and appreciates my assuring words and singles event!

First Impression

A student interviewed me on the topic "First Impression for Dating" for her school project. I thought it would be wonderful to share what I've replied to her questions here as well so that more singles could benefit from it.

1. Do you think first impressions are important? Why / Why not?
Yes, creating a good impression makes people feel that you are friendly, pleasant
and safe to be with. When you have establish good impression, they would want to have the opportunity to know you more.

2. What are some positive and negative body languages you can take note of on a date?
- Posture that shows that he/she is at ease with themselves and their surrounding.
- Relaxed shoulder with straight back but not tensed.
- Good eye contact that shows interest in what their date is saying.
- Leaning slightly forward that shows interest.
- On on first dates, do not get too close as your date might feel that you are invading into their space.

3. How can a girl/guy leave a good impression?
a. Appearance – dressing elegantly during dates, without revealing too much or appearing as too sloppy.
b. Mannerism  – being attentive, appreciative, polite and gracious.
c. Body language – smiling naturally. Positive and friendly posture make people feel at ease with you.

4. What are the worst three impressions a girl would not want to leave for a guy?
1. Appearing as too princessy (demanding)
2. Emotionally unstable and needy
3. Slutty

5. What are the worst three impressions a guy would not want to leave for a girl?
1. Irritating, offensive with poor social skills
2. Con man
3. Persistent stalker

6. How would these impressions affect both parties in the long run?
If the impression was bad, you can only dream about having more dates with this person in future!

7. Is it possible to change the overall impression of a person even though the first impression has been made? How?
Apologize for inappropriate dressing or behavior and make sure that the mistake is not repeated again. Hope that the other party is gracious to accept your apology.

8. Do you think that good first impressions usually lead to a successful relationship?
It does affect possibilities to develop the relationship.

9. Should a girl change/fake to leave a good first impression?
We dress appropriately to life's different occasions to show that we respect the host and  ourselves. Similarly in dating, dressing well to create a good first impression is about presenting your best and making a sincere effort towards dating. We do not have to deck ourselves with branded bags or expensive jeweleries to shout that we have expensive taste – this might back fire and turn some people away. We only have to dress appropriately to show that we care to leave a good impression.