Sharing tips based on observations, interactions and reflections gathered from my work experience. In addition to organizing and facilitating events in South East Asia, I train and assess event planners.
28 August 2018
8 Review Questions Before Cutting Toxic People Off
"I dropped people off with no warning, I getting too old to explain to others."
"Cut toxic people off immediately!"
I read memes like the above and it made me ponder – we do no hesitate to dispose things away when it's of no use to us nowadays, should we apply the same mindless attitude to our relationships?
For those who are active in social media, you might have the unfortunate experience of being unfriended by people. People whom you are clueless why they have blocked you. Nobody likes to be thrown away like dirt. It's sad and frustrating.
In the light of being fair, authentic and doing to other fellow humans how you would want to be treated, I propose we consider these 8 questions before we cut people off.
1. Have I feedback to this person about his/her negative behavior constructively? Feedback on the area how his/her actions affected others, without assuming they know they are in the wrong.
2. Have I bothered to learn how to handle him/her with care and respect?
3. Have I done anything to cause this person to react in this way to me?
4. Is this person always behaving negatively? Does he /she happen to be in low-points of their life and all they need is a kind soul to listen to how they feel or some space to be alone?
5. How can I help as a fellow human without affecting me?
6. Is it realistic to expect everyone to be always positive, upbeat and saying things that we want to hear?
7. Is this person simply irritating? Does he/she deserves to be unfriended?
8. Is this person abusive and manipulative? I totally agree that we have to set boundaries with harmful negative toxic people to protect ourselves. Flee from violent dangerous people if need be.
After considering the above and if we decided to end a relationship; TRY to close it amicably safely so that both parties could move on and learn positively from it. The world is small, we never know the relationship we end today might come in need tomorrow.